Yes, I am talking about front bottoms – as we also call them in our house.

BB came home from school one day last week and declared, in all seriousness, that the correct name for her foo foo isn’t in fact, front bottom, it’s ‘vageeena’.

Needless to say I properly snorted at this revelation, and it transpired this little pearl of wisdom came not from her teacher (phew) but from one of her classmates (I’d love to have been a fly on the wall during that conversation).

Is it possible to politely refer to a foo foo

Even though she got it slightly wrong the word vagina sounds like such a grown-up word and a bit weird coming out of the mouth of a four-year-old. BB has only started differentiating between her ‘front’ and ‘back’ bottom in the last few months.

This got me thinking about child-friendly words for front bottoms. Is it possible to politely refer to a foo foo? Here’s what I came up with:

1. ‘Front bottom’. Nice and simple – says what it is.

2. ‘Bits’. Deliberately vague and covers both genders, means you don’t have to go into too much detail.

3. ‘Foo foo’. No idea where this came from, but it’s what we call it in our house.

4. ‘Minnie’. No idea where this came from either, but it’s what BB’s godmother calls it in her house.

5. ‘Noo noo’. Also deliberately vague, I have heard this at the paddling pool at our park. ‘Isabella, cover your noo noo’.

Anyway, I relayed the whole ‘vageeena’ thing to Misery Guts, who shrugged his shoulders and said as long as she doesn’t come home using the word ‘c**t’ there’s nothing to worry about. He’s got a point.

What do you call front bottoms in your house? Is there a ‘nice’ word? I’d love to hear them!

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