These little gems have been highlighted in a study which reveals the top 20 signs of being a mum, and which also includes feeling like you’ve been dragged through a bush backwards and going shopping but only returning with items for the kids.
While it’s fair to say I tick many of the boxes, there are a number that I don’t, such as:
1. Getting excited by the weekly food shop.
Who are these mums and what on earth possesses them to get EXCITED about food shopping? I’ve been cowering behind my computer and adding things to a virtual basket ever since I discovered pushchair wheels stick on supermarket floors and the lighting rubs anyone under five, and a good deal of adults, up the wrong way.
2. Getting drunk on one glass of wine.
I drink so much wine one glass doesn’t even touch the sides. It merely takes the edge off and a second is always needed.
3. Relying on TV programmes such as This Morning or Loose Women for tips on motherhood.
Whaaaat? If anything these shows are examples of what NOT to do. (I realise this is a bit rich given I made an appearance on This Morning myself this year. In my defence, I was speaking out about the need not to be too overprotective).
So what are the other 17 signs of being I mum? According to Red Tractor Beef and Lamb, who conducted the research, they are:
1. You’re always in a rush
2. You constantly look tired
3. You spend your entire time thinking about food and what to cook
4. You go out shopping for the day and only return with stuff for the children
5. Always leaving the house with three bags instead of one
6. You have permanent bags under your eyes
7. You cry at everything related to children
8. Start going to bed at 9pm every night (Note the key word being ‘start’).
9. You look like you’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards
10. You no longer celebrate your own achievements on Facebook, only those of your child
11. Finding bigger pants are more comfortable
12. You panic about a late night
13. Forgetting what is in fashion
14. Other work colleagues seem so young
15. Suddenly a people carrier seems like a good idea
16. You learn to get up early with a hangover
17. Finding conversations about toilet habits hilarious
To be honest I’m glad I’m not a normal mum. I’m glad I can’t get drunk on one glass of wine, turn my nose up at advice on day time TV and don’t get excited by the weekly food shop. If I ever do you can shoot me.
How about you – are you a ‘normal’ mum or does this list sound nothing like you?
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