‘No sticking toes in bums!’ Those were the actual words that fell out of my mouth at bath time the other night when BB tried to stick her big toe in Little B’s bottom because ‘he did it to meeee’.
Since becoming a mum I find myself saying all sorts of things I never dreamed of, inwardly cringing when they’re out of my mouth because they’re either totally absurd or yet another sign I’m turning into my mother (sorry mum).
The worst offenders are sayings like ‘wind your neck in’ (urghhh) and ‘simmer down’ (double urghhh) which still somehow manage to escape my lips from time to time.
But there are other, less ridiculous, mumisms I find myself using on an almost daily basis.
Things I hate saying
1. We’ll see. I used to hate hearing this when I was little because it basically meant no, yet I find myself saying this all the time.
2. Because I said so. This is in no way an adequate explanation to a question.
3. Play nicely. What does this even mean? What is ‘playing nicely’ exactly?
4. Pick it up – I’m not your servant! The thing is, in their eyes, that’s precisely what I am.
5. One, two, three… No explanation needed. Every parent resorts to this threat at some stage…don’t they?
Have you found yourself saying anything ridiculous lately? Is there anything you always find yourself saying and wish you didn’t?
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