Brace yourselves. This is going to be a ranty one.
Did you hear about the man who lambasted a mum on Facebook for breastfeeding her newborn baby in a pub on Mother’s Day while drinking a white wine spritzer? Shock horror: mum drinks wine! On Mothering Sunday! In public!
Of course the wine is only half the issue – the other half is the boobs. Or one of them anyway. Sheldon Sparks’s beef was that a) breastfeeding ‘shouldn’t be seen in a pub’ and b) that this mum’s breastmilk was probably ‘14% pinot grigio’.
So it’s ok for him to eat and drink in a pub but not a mum and her baby? Where are we supposed to go? Let me guess: the toilet. Or should we stay at home and be neither seen nor heard?
My heart sinks when I see stories like this – we have the worst breastfeeding rate in the world and this kind of publicity only serves to reinforce the idea that breastfeeding in public is something you do only if you dare.
I’ve exclusively breastfed all three of my babies – at home, at bus stops, on park benches, in restaurants, next to Sir Terry Wogan in make-up at This Morning and – you guessed it – in pubs.
Just like the mum at the centre of this story, who unsurprisingly wants to remain anonymous, here I am, on Mothering Sunday, in the pub, enjoying a white wine spritzer while breastfeeding my newborn (minus the blanket Mr Sparks also reckons we should have).
I’m proud to breastfeed my baby in the pub, and that’s what I said when I appeared on ITV’s This Morning debating the issue.
Why I’m proud to breastfeed in the pub
As a #MedelaMum and Medela breastfeeding ambassador I’m passionate about breastfeeding, and I think we should be doing all we can to support and applaud breastfeeding mums, not criticise them.
I gave up my dream job because I wanted to breastfeed and I think there are already enough barriers to breastfeeding in this country without strangers wading in with their unwanted and ignorant opinions in pubs.
Of course it’s a man that got the hump.
The fact he chose to rant about it online and not to the mother’s face or complain to bar staff at the pub in question suggests he knows full well he was likely to be met with confrontation, and I’m heartened to see the response to the story has been overwhelming support for the mum.
The official NHS line is that the occasional drink is unlikely to harm a breastfed baby, and in any case the milk the baby would have been drinking at the time of the ‘offence’ would have been milk produced hours and hours ago.
For all Mr Sparks knew the baby’s next feed was going to be milk expressed earlier or formula, and indeed the mum in this case says her baby’s next feed was from a bottle.
But the point is she shouldn’t have to justify herself, and it’s absolutely none of this guy’s business anyway. It’s his problem, not hers.
To make matters worse this was this poor mum’s first Mother’s Day, which like my first Mothering Sunday she’ll now remember for all the wrong reasons.
The trouble is Mr Sparks isn’t the only one who thinks breastfeeding in public in a pub is inappropriate – mum Nulifer Atik, who appeared alongside me on This Morning, thinks so too.
Thankfully the TV debate has sparked further support for breastfeeding mums, and the look on Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby’s faces when Nulifer suggested mums shouldn’t breastfeed in public because it makes men uncomfortable was absolutely priceless. (Even OK Magazine picked it up – I never thought I’d find myself in OK!)
What do you think? Is it ok for mums to breastfeed in pubs while enjoying a drink? Or do you think it’s a big no-no? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Linking up with…
It really saddens me that people behave like this. I agree with everything you’ve said. Firstly, if he doesn’t like it then maybe he should be the one who becomes a recluse and hides at home in fear of seeing a boob. Secondly you cannot judge someone from a moment in time, like you say she may have planned to use expressed milk or formula for next feed, she may have only had a small glass, it could have been someone’s else’s drink she’d had a mouthful of…judgemental idiot he is x
I too have breastfed both of mine. Absolutely everywhere. Without a blanket (my thoughts on this are – I wouldn’t want a blanket over me when I have my lunch!). To be honest, I think I was lucky. I never had a bad experience. I was never made to feel uncomfortable. I never even noticed anyone looking. Perhaps the advantage of smaller boobs, it’s a bit less obvious! #familyfun
Yep I am in total agreement with you! I have done it many a time – I’d have had to miss so many family birthdays and celebration meals if I hadn’t fed my little guy in pubs. Oh unless I was bottle feeding of course – because I really doubt he’d have had such an issue if she was bottle feeding?! As for the drinking I definitely had a few drinks while feeding, there’s been some research which suggests the amount that gets into milk is negligible- it is like a shot of vodka being poured into a swimming pool! But how does he even know she was definitely drinking wine? It could have been a soft drink in a wine glass, unless he served her himself? I think some people are just offended by mothers and babies, full stop. So annoying! Will try and watch you on catch up or something I am at the hairdressers now #FamilyFun
I just watched it – you came across wonderfully and I think Philip and Holly agreed with you! I can’t believe that woman trying to say men feel like they are perving… dear me! Can’t make these poor blokes feel uncomfortable now can we?
Yes, it’s totally okay! I was a bit paranoid about it at first when I was breastfeeding, but I know the research shows that the amount of alcohol in breastmilk is negligible. As long as you’re not knocking back an entire bottle at once, it’s fine to enjoy wine while breastfeeding. In any case, it’s no one else’s business! #FamilyFun
Feed away! What is wrong with people. Boobs are for feeding!
#familyfun
I’ve breastfed in the pub many times! Our local is ultra-family friendly – the landlords have a little girl just a few months older than my youngest – and it was the first place we all went out together as a family of four. Breastfeeding is a totally normal and natural part of life, and should be carried out anywhere there is a hungry baby! It’s no-one’s business other than the mother and child’s.
I think a woman should be able to breastfeed in public. It is the most natural thing in the world. People who complain are idiots. The negative feeling towards breastfeeding are so old fashoined.
#FamilyFun
Urgh, I hate hearing about things like this. How are we going to encourage women to breastfeed if people behave like this? I’m glad people are sticking up for her. I have also breastfed in a pub. I had no idea it would be an issue for anyone.
Also, if you actually look at the evidence on drinking and breastfeeding, it seems like a minuscule amount of alcohol goes into breast milk. Most of the advice not to drink is actually because no one should be drunk in charge of a baby, its not really about the milk. #Bestandworst
Mothers should be able to breastfeed whenever their baby is hungry without having to hide away.
You did great on This Morning. x
#bestandworst
Omg what the hell is wrong with some people? This really.infuriates me because breastfeefing is one of the most natural things in the world. Your post is fantastic and I couldn’t agree more with you. #familyfun
So annoying! I missed this story but totally wish it didn’t happen! I haven’t had any badness from
Bf in public and have done so in pubs etc too. I don’t tend to drink but that’s because I don’t tend to like the aftermath! Why does the media sensationalise bf!!?
Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky
My post this week is about Breastfeeding in public!! I want to say your really brave but you shouldn’t need to be brave to feed your baby!
Great post!
Lx
#ablogginggoodtime
I saw you on tv yesterday you where fab and i totally agree with you we should be able to fees our babies where we want!! #ablogginggoodtime
I’m always surprised that people are prepared to go on tv and complain that breastfeeding might make people uncomfortable. I’ve seen lots of things in pubs that make me feel uncomfortable but someone taking care of their baby isn’t one of them!!! #familyfun
Makes me cross, how can anyone feel like feeding your baby in public is wrong. If it bothers people they can look away. If your little one needs feeding then you can’t make them wait till you are away from others. What’s going on in this world, feeding your baby is one of the oldest most natural things to do!
#coolmumclub
I totally agree with you – when a baby needs feeding, you feed it, no matter where you are or who you’re with. It’s no wonder that we have such low breastfeeding figures in this country, and stories like means the decline is going to continue. #coolmumclub
These kind of things make me sick. Honestly! It’s no ones business where you feed and anyone who needs to comment should just do one. I would write more but you have said all the points I would have made and I may swear. Well done on getting on telly again! xx #coolmumclub x
Some people will always make ignorant assumptions but hopefully people like you speaking openly like this will reach some and change their minds. You are becoming a This Morning regular! Well done lovely Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime
Love this post so much I just created a new #coolmumclub pinterest board in it’s honour… It annoys me that anyone would have an issue with anyone feeding their baby, anywhere. Grrr.
You basically need a regular slot on this morning Natalie! Amazing work 😉
Thanks for sharing with #coolmumclub!
Well done you! Luckily I haven’t encountered any negativity whilst feeding my son yet. I did notice in McDonalds the other day with my daughter (yes, I know, awful parenting, hah) that there were a few people staring at me and it made me quite flustered as I tried to get him to latch on. But that’s as bad as it’s got so far.
My Dad summed up the Facebook ranter like this: ‘Just another nosy old git who should mind his own business!’
#ablogginggoodtime
I am in total agreement with you. I hadn’t heard this story but it would have made me equally as cross as you. What is wrong with people if they get offended by a baby being fed. For starters, just stop staring if you don’t like it! It’s not like it’s being rammed in peoples faces. Urgh, I’ll stop because otherwise I’ll get really cross… Good on you for writing this post and for publically promoting breastfeeding.
Also, eeek, you were on This Morning! How exciting.
#FamilyFun
I watched you on this morning, I was nodding along to everything you said and also has a similar facial expression to Holly and Phil when the lady debating with you said we shouldn’t feed in public because men can’t help but look at boobs! I fed my baby in a beer garden on Monday while having a drink, there were lots of people there but I didn’t care, my baby was hungry so I was going to feed him and it’s up to us Mums whether we want to have a drink or not. You are so right that stupid remarks like this do not help new mums make the decision to breastfeed.xx #kcacols
I was so annoyed that I missed this segment… must go onto catch up! These things anger me so much. What world do we live in where a woman cannot feed her child?! #ablogginggoodtime
Popping back from #FamilyFun too
I saw you on TV too and wholeheartedly agree. I can’t believe this is even a debate anymore. I breastfed in a pub while out for lunch and found it incredibly stressful because I felt so self-conscious. I needn’t have because I was extremely lucky and never came across any negativity whenever I breastfed either of my kids. But my heart really does go out to that poor mum, not exactly the best first Mother’s Day!
Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday
I have already commented on this but returning with #kcacols 🙂 xx
Yes, it is most definitely okay to breastfeed in the pub. If men have a problem with boobs then they should stop looking at every advertising stand everywhere and if they have a problem with with you drinking then they should know that such a small percentage of alcohol transfers to breastmilk that you’d have to drink a vineyard’s worth of wine every day for a year for it to have a detrimental impact on your baby (possibly a slight exaggeration).
I feel so strongly about this that I am about to get Cygnet’s baby doll, take it to the pub, and get my boobs out. Grrrrrr. Pen x #KCACOLS
I feed everywhere and am proud to do so! I use a feeding apron in some places though if I do feel uneasy, but it just means I can feed anywhere! #KCACOLS
Eurgh, I hate things like this. Why does it matter to anyone where someone chooses to feed their child?! Prior to having a baby I hadn’t really thought about it but once I had him I realised how nervous feeding in public makes me, it’s ridiculous. It took a lot for me to get past that point and be okay with it, even now I don’t really enjoy whipping a boob out in a social setting but I do if my baby needs me. If ANYONE had said anything about it or I’d been met with anything other than 100% support it would have put me off forever. It makes me sad that people will be seeing this and potentially being put off breastfeeding their child because of it because they’re scared to do it in public and it starts impacting negatively on their life. Well done for standing up for common sense! #kcacols
I am so with you on this one! I have not breastfed Baba but I think it’s outrageous to have this kind of comment! Seriously, they see way worse in pubs with so many girls / woman with big cleavages and mini skirts where you can see it all and they contest about something so natural!!!!!! It is already hard enough for mummies and yes, toilets are so hygienic to do that… Total non sense! #KCACOLS
Well done you mama! Well done to all the mums who stick up for what is right! And what’s right is breastfeeding is acceptable EVERYWHERE. #KCACOLS
People should be able to breastfeed wherever the fuck they want and I will always confront and kick the ass (metaphorically or physically) anyone who tells my wife she can’t. #kcacols
I think women should feel comfortable feeding their babies wherever those babies need to be fed! It bothers me that this is still even an issue for some people, honestly, if you don’t want to see a woman breastfeeding her baby then just don’t look! x #KCACOLS
[…] it’. Those are the words on my new mug – a gift from breastfeeding experts Medela to mums who are banging the breastfeeding drum. I absolutely love it! As a #MedelaMum they asked me to take a selfie with the mug and share it […]