Is it just me or is the world going mad? Or advent calendar makers to be precise. I couldn’t help but furnish BB with her first chocolate advent calendar this year – it seemed cruel not to – and she loves Thomas the Tank Engine, for which there isn’t a non-chocolate picture alternative available. Or it seemed cruel until my eyes fell on the boast ‘chunkier chocolate for the final five days’ (pictured), when it was already opened and too late to take back.

Chunkier chocolate for the final five days??!! I am outraged. Why oh why? So the child can gradually expand their stomach in time for the day itself, ready to gorge on even more confectionary? And since when did advent calendars have 25, as opposed to 24, chocolates? No wonder this country has an obesity problem.

Somewhat surprisingly, Misery Guts doesn’t share my outrage. “There’s probably less than 1 gram of chocolate in the whole thing anyway, so what are you worrying about?” he said, helping BB scoff one down. But that’s not the point. It’s not the chocolate content I object to, but the suggestion it ought to get bigger the closer we get to Christmas.

Why oh why oh why oh why? And what will they think of next?