I’ve made a decision. One that’s not likely to go down well in some quarters.
I’m not going to potty train my youngest.
It’s a decision I’ve come to after a year of trying – and failing – to potty train the boy who doesn’t want to be potty trained.
A year of cajoyling, encouraging, rewarding, bribing and begging after which there was nothing for it but to simply give up: we couldn’t make him do his business on the loo.
And then the unthinkable happened: just when I was thinking we were going to have a four-year-old still in nappies he woke up one day, decided to sit on the loo and that was that. No potty training needed.
Having also potty trained his older sister – at a much younger age and much more quickly – I’ve decided that third time around I’m simply not going to bother. Here’s why.
7 reasons why I won’t potty train my youngest
1. There’ll be fewer accidents. I can count on one hand the number of accidents our nearly four-year-old has had compared to his older sister, who was just two when we started potty training her. It’s because he’s older: he understands what it’s all about and can articulate it too.
2. There’ll be less washing. Owing to fewer accidents, there’ll be less wee ridden (and worse) washing to deal with.
3. When they’re bigger you can put them straight on the loo. So no tripping over potties, or the unenviable task of swilling them out.
4. The older they are the quicker they’ll learn to wipe their own bum. And let’s face it, there’s enough wiping when it comes to parenthood as it is. Why make work for yourself?
5. I can’t be bothered. It’s not that I’m lazy, I just think cajoyling, encouraging, rewarding, bribing and begging a two-year-old and then dealing with the resulting accidents and washing is a waste of time and energy when an older child will simply ‘get it’ straight away.
6. What’s the rush? Admittedly changing nappies is a pain in the bum, but so is potty training a child who isn’t ready. And I’ve never heard of anyone going to University not toilet trained.
7. You don’t need to potty train a child who is ready to be potty trained. I’ve learnt that the hard way, and it’s a mistake I won’t be making again.
What do you think? Have you been through the potty training phase recently? Did you start as soon as possible, or wait until they were older? I’d love to hear about your experience!
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Oh yes!!! This is the best. I waited with both my boys until they were 3 1/2. My now 7 1/2 year old had one single accident. My now 3 1/2 year old is doing wees in fine, but number twos are still an issue. Nonetheless…I refused to try any earlier, for all the reasons you listed!
Couldn’t agree more! I tried to potty train my daughter before she was ready and ended up tearing my hair out – it was so stressful for both of us. Then, out of the blue a few weeks later she was just ready. I’m going to let my son lead the way when the time is right #mmbc
My girls started nursery just after their 3rd birthday’s and had to be potty trained. My eldest just about was but my youngest was no where near ready. I think being forced into not wearing a nappy caused us the trouble we had over the years with her wetting herself. If I had it to do all over again, I would leave them until they were ready. #MMBC
You do have a point, you can encourage them when they are ready but it is all a waste of time before that #DreamTeam
Just to add some perspective: My son (who’s autistic) used his last nappy aged almost 10 years old. He stopped wearing nappies years before that, but he couldn’t bring himself to doing number 2s in the toilet, so he’d go to the cupboard and grab a nappy when he needed to. We kept encouraging toilet use, but didn’t force the issue. I’m very thankful that he seems happy to use the toilet all the time now, and I hope he won’t regress in the future. #MMBC
I’ve been dreading potty training but maybe I just need to relax a bit and not worry about it early on. If there’s one thing I’ve learned this year it’s that they all go at their own pace and you can’t force development. #MMBC
I’m currently trying to potty train my almost 3 year old. This post may have altered my perception of the whole process as it’s not going well! #coolmumclub
Yes! Loving this! We felt a lot of pressure to potty train our daughter, and she was having none of it. When she decided she was ready, it was so quick and painless. OK, she was older than some others, but it’s fine, she’s done it now and there was no stress for any of us #coolmumclub
I 100% agree. My second was almost a year old than my first when they were potty trained because he wasn’t ready. You can’t make them go on the potty if they’re not ready, it’s no fun for them or you. #coolmumclub
Oh Nat it’s a sore subject around here! I’m only just getting over the horror that was potty training the MOuse. Despite smugly exclaiming how we were leaving it so late (she was older than her sister when we started), it still took 18 months and involved code browns on a daily basis, or chronic constipation lasting days and days. I have never been so glad to see the end of a parenting stage! In fact, this week we binned the potties once and for all… I say wait girl, just wait as long as you god damn can…
Thanks for sharing with #CoolMumClub
Absolutely I agree, what is the rush? I waited until my daughter was a month short of turning three because I knew that was when she was ready for it and we had the whole thing done in a week. Ok it was a painstaking week of not leaving the house at all but we got through it. Instead of taking everyone else’s advice I did it when I felt she was ready. Nobody knows your child the way you do so trust your gut and do what you feel is right for you! #CoolMumClub
I have been so lucky. I waited til my son showed me all the signs he was ready and could actually articulate his needs. It took us less than a week, he had 1 accident and was dry at night the week after! He was 2 and 8 months. My daughter just accidentally trained herself one day! She’d had chicken pox and was naked. The potty had been out for a friend, she watched, copied and that was that! She was only 18 months old and I’d had no intentions to start at all! Miss Independent…! #KCACOLS
I am totally with you on this one. Pressuring a little one into potty training when they are not ready, just sets up a recipe for disaster. I am a big believer that they will get there in their own time. 🙂
Thanks for sharing with #MMBC. x
Feeling every word of this post! Ive got twin boys nearly 3.5. Twin 1 had a few short failed attempts but then just before he turned 3 decided he was doing it and it took no effort and we’ve had no accidents. Twin 2 was just not interested so we’ve waited and we are now on day 3 of no nappies and pretty much there. Its been stress free leaving it til they’re ready! #KCACOLS
Totally agree!! I tried 2 or 3 times, unsuccessfully and very messy times, with my oldest. Didn’t stick. One day he comes up to me and tells me he wants to wear big boy undies. So we go to the store he picks out what he wants, and that was that. They will let you know when they are ready. I am not going to rush my 2-year-old. #KCACOLS
I am a huge fan of child-led potty training. The stress and fights are not worth it! #DreamTeam
Couldn’t agree more that waiting is the best thing to do! I see so many stressed mums and I don’t want to be the same. We’ve been baby led with everything else so far so we will stick to the same principle with potty training.
it is such a tough stage i’ve found. my son is five and still has poo accidents now and again. and i feel he is far from dry at night. and it seems like everyone and their dog was dry nights from age 2 days bloody old. This time around i’m def going to take more of your above approach. i think we try and rush these things, when actually, we should listen to our kids more. good luck and fingers crossed for a smoother time ey!
Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time
I love this post!
I totally agree, especially with number 7. YOu don’t see any teenagers in nappies! #kcacols
Absolutely agree with this. My daughter basically did it all herself, purely because she was ready and it made the whole thing so much less stressful than when we tried to potty train my son before he was ready. x #KCACOLS
We didn’t potty train my daughter until she was 3 – then it was all done in a week with minimal accidents and dry through the night straight away. There’s absolutely no point pushing a child before they’re ready. #KCACOLS
This makes complete sense. We trained at 2 and half but not without it’s trials #KCACOLS
I can totally see the benefit of doing this. My oldest was a dream and my youngest took over a year and I was constantly stressed and lugging around a bag full of spare pants. We should have just ditched it for a year – he either wasn’t ready or wasn’t interested. If we had a third (which is NOT going to happen), I’d be inclined to take your approach. Live and learn! #itsok
We’re just entering this phase with Peachy. She will be 3 in December. We’ve been slowly getting her used to the concept for several months now. I’m hoping to be totally done with the process before her birthday, but we’ll see.#KCACOLS
I completely second you on this Natalie. It is sooooo much easier (and quicker) once they’re ready for it. I started with my boy when he was just over two (coz his nursery took the initiative) but it was going nowhere. There were bribes and cajoling and pleading but I think he just didn’t ‘get’ it. So I let it rest for a few months and started again just before his third birthday. And voila! Two weeks in he was potty trained. No tears, no fuss, minimal stress.
PS: Thanks for linking up with #itsok
I can barely remember potty training now and I think that it was because it was so traumatic that I’ve blanked it out of my mind! I should of left it till they were bigger:)
Mainy
#KCACOLS
Totally in agreement with all these points :d They’re older and have more of an understanding and by the time you’re potty training your third child, you definitely don’t listen to all the government hoohah about getting them out of nappies quickly. They lie. Kids do it in their own time #KCACOLS
Back from #KCACOLS (my last comment on this still awaiting moderation..?) x