3 positive ways to be a great co-parent

When a relationship breaks down – for whatever reason – positive co-parenting is a great way to keep your family close, your children happy and create a better life for everyone involved.

Being a co-parent might not be something you ever envisioned doing, but being good at it can help your family move forward and it’s important to try and make the process as successful as it can be.

Of course, co-parenting is likely to come with its challenges, but as long as everyone involved understands how it is going to work, communication stays open and clear boundaries have been set, you can set yourself up for a more successful co-parenting agreement that everyone can enjoy.

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So, if you’re planning to co-parent or are already co-parenting and looking at how you can smooth out the process, in this collaborative post here are some top tips to help you on your journey.

1. Sort out the small details first

Whether this is with a family disputes resolution team or an agreement you make before going to court, it is important to sort out all the details around your co-parenting first, especially if there are any issues still floating around. This includes the different responsibilities and commitment from each parent (for example, sleeping arrangements, school runs, medical appointments, social events, sports and hobbies, etc), how and when you will communicate about your children, and how you will coordinate your schedules. Make sure you have a positive conversation that is focused on co-parenting, defining all the details, setting your boundaries, and coming up with a plan on how you will move forward. Make sure you are both on the same page and get everything in writing.

2. Communicate with each other

It is important to ensure that communication stays between the parents, as opposed to using the children as intermediaries. This can put a lot of pressure on your children and leave them feeling stuck in the middle. Make sure communication stays open, and you speak to each other about any issues that may arise.

The way you communicate with each other is also vital. Firstly, you want to be a good role model for your children, so make sure you speak to your co-parent with respect and patience. Avoid conflict in front of the children, being condescending, or talking over each other. If possible, try to resolve any issues as they arise, and keep communication positive, relaxed, and pleasant.

3. Put your children first

When things get tough, try to remember why you are doing this, and keep your children at the top of your priority list. Accepting that this is your new reality and that your co-parent will be in your life can make a huge difference to the process. Even if you don’t always get along, they are still your children’s parent, which means you should not project your feelings onto your children and allow them to have a healthy relationship with that parent. You don’t always have to agree on everything, and that’s normal. It is more important that your children see that you can communicate healthily and in a positive way.