If you’re reading this the chances are you’ve survived another week of homeschooling in lockdown.

Or if you’re anything like us, muddled through might be a better way of putting it (if you’re one of *those* mamas who’s got it all licked with laminated lesson plans this post definitely isn’t for you).

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I’d tried to blot the awfulness of homeschooling in Lockdown 1.0 out but it’s all come rushing back, and this time I don’t have the excuse of having just given birth to fall back on.

Because there’s an awful lot they don’t tell you about homeschooling, and throw lockdown into the mix and it’s a recipe for disaster. In no particular order, here’s what I’ve been reminded of in the last week.

10 things they don’t tell you about homeschooling in lockdown

1. It’s not really homeschooling

Let’s be clear: what we’re doing isn’t really homeschooling. It’s remote learning. Homeschooling is something you choose and make a conscious decision to do. It’s not something thrust upon you with zero notice and no planning that you do alongside other quite important things, like working and looking after preschoolers. And under no circumstances am I cut out to be a homeschooling mum.

2. You need the patience of a saint

And patience isn’t one of my virtues. Especially when it comes to accessing multiple online learning accounts on multiple devices with multiple passwords.

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3. The school day is a looong day

When they’re actually at school the day goes by in a flash: one minute you’re dropping them off, the next it’s time to pick them up. But when they’re at home and you’re the teacher it’s a completely different story – and you’re counting down the minutes to home time.

4. I’m rubbish at maths

Even some of the key stage 2 maths is beyond me. Thank god for calculators on phones.

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5. The terminology makes me feel really old

Like obscure anacronyms, ‘spicy’ maths and split digraphs. It’s like learning a whole new language!

6. You’re not just a teacher

You’re the classroom assistant, the playground monitor, the dinner lady and the cleaner upper too. So you don’t get a break at all.

7. You find yourself saying ‘you wouldn’t speak to your teacher like that’

A lot. In fact if I had Ā£1 for every time I’ve said ‘you wouldn’t speak to your teacher like that’ that I’d be close to earning a teacher’s salary!

8. You need all the snacks

I kid you not, by the Wednesday of the first week of Lockdown 3.0 we were on our third loaf of bread. And don’t even mention the milk. Who knew they could eat so much?

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9. It’s impossible to shoehorn everything you couldn’t get done in the week into the weekend

Don’t even attempt it, because you’ll implode, or cry. Or both.

10. People who actually choose to homeschool are superheroes

Or nuts. Or both. And to be fair they probably don’t have four kids. Either way, they’re superheroes with invisible capes.

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Have you found yourself suddenly homeschooling again too? I’d love to know how it’s going in your house!

If you liked this you may also enjoy reading:

10 things I’m going to do differently after lockdown

Should I send my kids back to school & nursery?

10 things they don’t tell you about giving birth in a pandemic