Have you heard the one about the woman who reckons women who don’t have children should be entitled to ‘me-ternity’ leave in order to have the equivalent time ‘off’ work as their child-bearing colleagues?
I’m loath to give her too much air time, but basically author Meghann Foye has written a book about a woman who pretends to be pregnant so she can take some time off, called – you guessed it – Meternity.
Needless to say she’s had a roasting in the media – and she’s about to get another one from me.
The concept of ‘me-ternity’ leave is a bit like asking for two weeks off because your colleague had two weeks off when they broke their leg, or expecting a day off because your colleague got a cold and had a day off. Which would be ridiculous.
But quite apart from the fact it’s ridiculous, what annoys me most is that the idea not only completely ignores the fact the early weeks and months of maternity leave are spent physically recovering from producing another human being, it yet again reinforces the idea that by taking time out of a career to have a baby women are taking the easy option, shirking ‘real’ work in favour of indulging in motherhood and sitting around all day eating cake.
Why is it parenthood is portrayed in this light? Like those divorce headlines which critically imply a wife is ‘getting’ half of her husband’s fortune. No she isn’t. She’s getting half of their fortune, the fortune earned while he was out working and she was doing all that was needed to enable that to happen, like ferrying their children to and from school and clubs at all hours of the day, keeping the fridge stocked and cleaning his wee from the toilet bowl. It’s called team work.
They’re not her children, they’re their children. And if that team breaks down I think it’s right that any proceeds are shared equally, particularly if one partner has put their own career on hold to make it work. Anyway, I digress. Back to ‘me-ternity’ leave…
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: mums and dads on maternity and shared parental leave are raising the politicians, teachers and doctors of the future, and what job can be more important than that?
And they’re not only raising children for the ‘important’ jobs either, they’re raising the care workers who will one day wipe the bums of people like Meghann Foye, and the bus drivers who will lower the doors of the bus because they’re too old and infirm to climb into it by themselves. Because someone’s got to do it.
Anyone who thinks maternity leave is a ‘break’ needs their head read. Misery Guts regularly hot foots it to the office on a Monday morning to escape the horror of the weekend, and frankly I don’t blame him. I have many friends who say returning to work after a maternity leave felt like a break, where they could focus on and complete one task at a time, wee in peace and drink hot tea without fear of being puked or pooed on, or both.
Of course I don’t want to poo-poo the idea entirely. If there’s ever the chance of ‘me-ternity’ leave while actually on maternity leave, I’m all ears.
What do you think? Is ‘me-ternity’ leave a good idea? Or does the concept wind you up like me?
Linking up with…
I wrote a piece on this last week. Needless to say it made my blood boil. She’s obviously naive to the work involved in parenting!
I will have a look at your post! Blood boiling is the right word!
Wow I hadn’t heard of this until now!? What the actual fudge? If a person wishes to experience the benefits of maternity leave then they should surely also be required to carry a bowling ball in their innards for 9 months and then have it removed, through their left nostril. Whilst recovering from this they should be woken every 2 hours through the night and have someone chomp on their nipples and scream at them. Welcome to maternity leave. Help yourself to cake! 😉 Thanks for sharing this! I seriously must live under a rock to have missed it! X
#best and worst.
Totally agree lovely – stupid woman! I enjoyed mat leave but it was hard, tiring and occasionally very tedious. It is not a break for me to blog, exercise, scrapbook, find myself or do anything else I would like to do. You are right why are women made to feel bad for staying at home and having that time. Something needs to change. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x
I love the sound of me-ternity. But I wouldn’t be greedy or picky about for how long. Say enough me-ternity time to go the toilet on my own. Or drink a hot brew. Or better still, sleep in my bed with a foot or hand jabbing me in the head.
Sign me up. Can I start tonight? :0)
#bestandworst X
Gosh, is this lady serious??!! Yup all I did on maternity leave was sunbathe, paint my nails and read Grazia! It’s not until you have kids that you realise that ALL your time before them was ‘me’ time. #coolmumclub
Couldn’t agree more. I saw the author on This Morning and was pleased when I saw Holly give her quite the grilling! Unless you’ve had kids, you’ve got no idea! Very irritating and naive of this “author” xx #coolmumclub
I could have written this post myself! I actually avoided reading too much about it because I knew it would annoy me too much! Another example of someone talking about stuff they have no idea about! I love how people who haven’t had kids like to write stuff like this. I’ve had many people refer to my maternity leave as a “holiday” (often men!!) which just shows they have no idea what it’s like! Well done for a fab post #coolmumclub
Ohh I’ve never heard of this before but how ridiculous is this woman? ! Being at home looking after a baby is hard work, it’s not a holiday in the slightest. This woman clearly doesn’t have a clue what motherhood is really like xx #coolmumclub
Could not agree with this more and you’re spot on. Brilliantly written. #coolmumclub
If only that woman knew the truth! That we look at those women at work on their lunch breaks with such envy 😉
Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub…here’s hoping for some me time flippin soon!
Unbelievable, what an idiotic idea! Being on maternity leave is great but it’s no walk in the park (actually, I did do a lot of pushing prams round the park, but you know what I mean) And when I went back to my job (not back to work, as I was certainly working, albeit for no pay, when I was on mat leave) I did find it quite relaxing. Great post, thanks for sharing on #BestAndWorst xx
I agree that asking for me-ternity leave(!) is a bit like asking for a few weeks off work because your colleague did when they broke their leg, i.e. ridiculous. However, I didn’t see her on This Morning (because I was at work, as I’m not on me-ternity leave!) so I can’t really comment on what her point might actually have been. I suspect people like this are wheeled out to cause a bit of outrage and get everybody riled up, which presumably is exactly what the woman in question wants-more publicity for her. However, it does remind me a bit of the episode of Sex and the City when Samantha has an anti-baby shower party, and another when Carrie protests about having to constantly fork out money going to other people’s weddings when she is unmarried, and the favour is never returned. I understood the point that was being made there, but demanding a me-ternity leave is taking it a bit far. #coolmumclub
I read about this … it’s nonsense isn’t it. I think people underestimate a) what a physical strain having a baby is and b) what an emotionally turbulent time the early years are. I suspect the ‘me-ternity leave’ writer might regret her words one day! But hey, she’s done a good job promoting her book at least 😉 #effitfriday
I hate the whole concept, and hate even more that all the talk of her on the news has probably helped her book sales, grrrrr. #effitfridays
Grrrrrrrrrrr. Things like this make my blood boil. And remind me of myself before children, I had no idea of the work involved. It does my head in when my husband says things like you call you have more time you’ve got the boys I’m at work. Yes Work. In a NICE QUIET office!!!!!