Have you heard about the mum who was frog-marched out of a John Lewis store because her toddler had a tantrum? Admittedly frog-marched is a slight exaggeration, but she was โasked to leaveโ John Lewis in Dumplington (that is a real place, I checked) owing to the fact her 16-month-old daughter โstarted to lose the plotโ (the motherโs words, not mine).
As the mother of a 16-month-old myself, I feel her pain. It turns out it was midday (= lunchtime and therefore the child was probably hungry) on the Saturday before Motherโs Day (= the air was probably charged with a lethal mix of stressed dads and over excited kids). Iโm not surprised the child started to lose the plot. I certainly would.
What I think is a real shame is that all this happened in John Lewis, a business founded on the revolutionaryย idea of a partnership uniting bosses withย the massesย that would โput the happiness of its employees at the heart of everything it didโ (their actual words).
Of course the whole hoo-ha is allย down to the (ill judged)ย actions of one single employee, as these things always are, but weโre not talking aboutย a hapless Saturday boyย person who didnโt know any better: these were the actions of a manager who presumably has had some form of training in What Not To Say To Your Customers.
No doubt his head has rolled by now, but the whole thing has left a sour taste in my mouth. I expected more of John Lewis, which prides itself on its customer service, and which Iโve always thought of as setting standards (the bathroom department is my favourite bit โ all those Egyptian cotton towels in every colour you can possibly think of).
Anyone with a toddler will know youโre absolutely powerless if they decide to throw a strop when youโre out and about, planking as youโre desperately trying to ram them into the pushchair and getย theย hell outย as soon as possible. You can feel the eyes burning into you, the exchanged looks, the disapproval on theย faces of people who have clearly never had to deal with such a situation.
And then the ultimate shame: to be asked to leave when youโd clearly rather be anywhere else than there.
Shame on you John Lewis.
Has your toddler ever hadย a major public meltdown? What did you do?
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Yes I heard about this and shared this story on my Facebook page! I bet John Lewis were mortified seeing as their customer base is largely mums! Not great PR at all but like you say it sounds like it was poor judgement from one employee who would probably have been sacked by now! x
I bet their PR team have been working overtime on damage limitation this week!
Oh thats awful. I’m not a mother myself but do have neices and nephews who do like to have tantrums. They are probably going to lose alot of business over this, i feel so sorry for the mum x
The mum must have felt mortified, which is why I felt compelled to speak out and blog about it! Poor woman x
Oh my that’s terrible. I regularly go to John Lewis. Cygnet and Pen often share scone and jam. Cygnet and / or Pen regularly have little tantrums. Pen, because she can’t find a jumper in her size and Cygnet is escalator bound and Cygnet because Pen won’t let him get on the escalator alone. We’ve never been chucked out…yet! #bestandworst
I’ve only ever had brilliant customer service in John Lewis, from staff who were kind and considerate and understanding. Hopefully this was a one-off…
This is awful. When I heard about it I couldn’t help but think this was an awful thing to happen to a store like John Lewis. It was a silly mistake made, and the mistake cannot even be justified. The people complaining should have been the ones that were asked to leave, not the mother trying to deal with a toddler tantrum. #bestandworst
Quite! It’s really unfortunate that the store in question is John Lewis but they should have systems in place to make sure this sort of this doesn’t happen…
It’s just shocking, I was just reading another post and was saying I’m sure we have all been there but if I was asked to leave somewhere I would have been mortified! Thanks for linking up #bestandworst
I can’t imagine what I’d do in the same situation…
All kids at some time or another throw a wobbly in the middle of tesco etc and us other mums just smile as we know what it’s like. To be asked to leave a shop must be utterly mortifying!
Hopefully the mum in question now knows we all feel sorry for her!
Sometimes it feels like we are going back to ‘children should be seen and not heard’. Where has all the tolerance and understanding gone? #effitfriday
Which makes it especially disappointing from a store like John Lewis which markets itself as a family shop…
Brilliantly put.
You’re so right, and I imagine John Lewis are having a meltdown behind closed doors about how to rectify the situation.
As Claire before me said, it seems as though we are being persecuted for having children. We are utterly powerless to prevent tantrums sometimes because toddlers can be the most unreasonable of creatures. I hope one day this chap realises how silly he was and that the mum in question is ok. Must’ve been mortifying.x
#effitfriday
And there’s no reasoning with a toddler in full meltdown mode either – I’d have been tempted to ask the manager to deal with it!!
Yes totally agree – does no one in john Lewis know what it’s like to have a toddler? Awful. So pleased the story went viral to highlight how all of us mums are on that poor mother’s side #effitfriday
I know it was all down to one member of staff but that’s not the point!
I hadn’t heard about this, it must have been so mortifying! We’re just about to reach the toddler stage and I’m dreading the accompanying tantrums – she’s so stubborn and strong willed already! x #effitfriday
Little B is the same and I’m dreading this phase too!
We don’t have a John Lewis in America but we have had restaurants where people are asked to leave because their kids are having temper tantrums. Some of those stories have even made headlines and the opinions vary. Many people take the side of the employee because the attitude is that we parents should have more control over our children but many take the side of parents (usually other parents) who walked in those shoes. My children rarely had temper tantrums in public. I was blessed in that regard because they usually waited until we go to the car, LOL! However, my youngest hated being told no to candy in the grocery store so he would scream but I was at the register by then so once I was done I walked him straight outside strapped him in his seat and let him have his tantrum while I put the groceries in the car. There really isn’t much we can do accept remove the child from the situation but to have someone ask you to leave because of that is just plain wrong. #effitfriday
I’m sure the mum in question wanted nothing more than to leave but to be ASKED is terrible! We don’t have sweets and chocolate at shop tills in the UK anymore as they banned them so luckily BB doesn’t get tempted in shops!
Oh dear, I heard about this and it is shocking however that would be my whole experience of shopping at John Lewis in Liverpool summed up! I have had tuts and frowns off the staff when I have been shopping with my daughter and family members and things have gotten heated. I also had an uncomfortable experience with them when trying to purchase shoes in there once, however the staff on the toy department have always been lovely. Moan over! #KCACOLS
Oh no – that doesn’t sound good at all! The ones we have down here have always been very good to us x
I’d heard about this, tantrums in shops are hard enough to deal without being asked to leave! I would have been mortified! Not good for John Lewis’ reputation as a family brand! #effitfridays
My thoughts exactly!
We have had more public meltdowns than I can count. I bet John Lewis are mortified tainted my a staff member no doubt acting without any instructions. Heads will definitely roll! #sundaystars
I do think it was probably down to one rogue member of staff but as I think I’ve already said, that’s not the point…
I haven’t actually read the story but have heard about it. I’m not sure John Lewis should be tarnished. It was one store & one staff member. A little perspective might be needed. #kcacols lifeinthemumslane
I see what you’re saying but I think the fact it was one store and one staff member is precisely why the issue should be highlighted. Hopefully now they will put systems in place to make sure another mother isn’t victimised in the way this mum was…
My youngest is always having public meltdowns at the moment so I am waiting for every shop on Jersey to ban us! I have been known to join her on the floor for a tantrum and that usually stops her but also draws weird looks from passerbys but it is a small price to pay for a child to stop screeching on the floor ๐ #KCACOLS
Yes I’ve heard acting the same way nips it in the bud – I wouldn’t fancy doing it in public though!
My daughter is five and still has public meltdowns. She’s a child, She gets bored and frustrated. It happens. Kids will be kids and they will let the whole world know when they’re not happy. The staff member should have known better and handled the situation better. Or just left the mum be. I’m sure she was already, like we all get, embarrassed by her childs behaviour and probably tried everything to help them calm down! It’s left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth too as I’ve always thought very highly of John Lewis. However on the other hand, perhaps the staff member in question was having a bad day themselves and just didn’t act in the most professional way.
Yes we don’t know what went on before all this happened…
I wrote SUCH a similar post this week, I agree entirely. What on earth was going through the managers head? It really is absurd. Wouldn’t get this at Selfridges! haha…
I don’t know – the next thing you know it could well be Selfridges!
Oh gosh, I dread this happening! The poor mum. I don’t think we should tar the whole of John Lewis with the same brush though; clearly this employee acted out of turn and I’m sure he’s heard about it! #KCACOLS
And the whole story has gone ominously quiet now…
I haven’t heard about this so can’t comment. But public meltdowns were the worst … #kacols
They always get me so hot under the collar…
I hadn’t heard about this until now and it’s such a shame, so embarrassing to be asked to leave because of kids meltdown. How insensitive! If they had any idea about the unpredictability of children, or had any concept of the John Lewis brand then they would of helped the situation not sent them packing. I was just thinking about when my kids have had meltdowns and what sprang to mind first was my own meltdowns when a long day has just gotten too much and then they push the shopping trolley into the back of my heel! Oh that’s a fun one to watch!
Mainy
#KCACOLS
https://www.myrealfairy.com
Ouch! I feel your pain!!
I read about this. It’s awful.
Clearly the guy has no experiences of his own with tantrumming toddlers!
When your toddler has a public meltdown is embarrassing enough, without someone bringing it up and forcing you to leave! Terrible.
Bet the guy feels bad now!
He will feel bad if he’s reading this!
Oh I heard about this on Facebook and I felt nothing but sympathy for the poor woman. I have a stroppy toddler as well but thankfully she’s not had a public meltdown yet. But what struck me more than anything were the negative comments from people on Facebook. One person said something along the lines of “probably one of the unwashed who roamed into John Lewis instead of Poundstretcher” – that comment just outraged me! Because of course “posh” kids don’t have tantrums!
I don’t think it matters whether you’re ‘posh’ or not – toddlers are toddlers and if they’re going to have a tantrum no-one can stop them…
Can’t believe this happened but like you said you get one idiot manager who well acts like an idiot! Kids are kids for god sake, like we want them to have a freaking melt down in public. Hope he got the sack! This will probably be me on Wednesday in Westfield! :0) x #KCACOLS
I was so appalled when I read this in the paper. It’s a real shame that idiot has let down the company he works for and felt so bad for the mum. There is literally nothing you can do when your toddler is really going for it and I’m constantly ignoring mine’s tantrums when shopping and focusing on just doing what I need to do and getting home because what’s the point of trying to stop it? Better to just swiftly get your shopping and go. It’s shocking how many looks you do get from strangers though – I think people instantly forget the tantrum days of their own kids the minute they have passed (not that I blame them!). Thanks for sharing x #sundaystars
I have heard of this story and to be honest I think it is just a real shame. For me John Lewis has been always a department store where you should be treated with respect and understanding. It is very hard to control sometimes our kids’ tantrums even though you do everything in your power to stop it. Trust me as a parent I don’t like it either so I will not stay in a place if any of my girls are losing the plot but I would like to be able to take that decision myself and not being asked to leave as it is very embarrassing. I have never had this problem at JL so I can comment on that but yes my girls have had tantrums in numerous places, especially in Asda in the middle of an isle. Of course nobody will say anything to you there. So yes it is not nice and of course we would like to avoid it but sometimes it is not that simple. Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I would love to see you again on Sunday! ๐ x
I saw about this. Though I have to admit that I am not really inclined to blame John Lewis. Unless this had actually been their policy on what to do over something like this, I think we have to accept that no company can control all its employees & prevent them from ever doing something stupid. Sometimes you will have employees who get it wrong, and you can’t always predict that. I was actually most annoyed in this story with the customers who complained to the manager. I think the manager was a fool, but suspect that he panicked & thought he had to placate the other customers. But the complainers? What the hell was wrong with them? Who does that? I hate those sorts of people. #KCACOLS
This is a brilliant post and I agree with every word that you have written. I was horrified when I read the story and I shared it on my blog Facebook page because I was shocked. When your child has a tantrum in public, you feel helpless! Like the worst mother in the world. It is bad enough that you feel everyone is staring at you. But being escorted out of the shop like a criminal is terrible. Little Miss H once had a complete meltdown in the middle of Tunbridge Wells. The classic,I won’t go in my buggy but I won’t walk holding your hand either. And a Big Issue salesman accused me of abducting my own daughter. I have never felt so ashamed in my whole life. And I burst into tears and blubbed in public. I will never forget it. And so I always have the deepest sympathy for any parent who is coping with an upset child in public. Thanks so much for linking up to #SundaysStars. Hugs Lucy xxxx
Oh goodness I feel your pain – how awful! I’m sure it was terrible at the time but hopefully you can laugh about it now – or will do one day!!
I love John Lewis too – everything about it is just the best. And Waitrose. Yes, I am very middle class! Doing our wedding list there and just scanning barcodes with the special thingy was one of my favourite things about wedding planning ๐
Like some of your other commenters, I also feel that the blame lies more with individuals rather than John Lewis itself; the customers who complained and the staff member who behaved inappropriately, that is.
I hope the complainers have to spend their next long haul flight in the company of a particularly pissed off toddler. Or preferably more than one ๐
x Alice
#kcacols
I’d forgotten about that bar code scanner when you do your wedding list – that WAS brill!!