Do you ever totally lose it? I mean really lose it?
I don’t lose it very often – very rarely in fact – but when I do I really do.
Why I tell my kids I’m sorry
Nine times out of ten it will be at the end of a day – a day when I’ve juggled deadlines with being a stay-and-work-at-home mum, nursery pick up, the school run and the other 101 things that need doing on the average week day.
And nine times out of ten it will a case of the straw that broke the camel’s back: it will be a tiny thing at which I eventually flip.
Whether it’s the effing tea I served up on the ‘wrong’ plate, the sodding Suzy Sheep yoghurt I presented them with instead of the Peppa Pig one or the fidget spinner that caused world war three, the kids’ eyes will widen and they’ll know they’ve gone Too Far.
Of course the going Too Far flip out is quickly followed by an obligatory dose of mum guilt, because this time I’ve gone Too Far.
I always regret it afterwards, and I always say I’m sorry and try to explain why I lost the plot. Sometimes they look at me blankly, totally forgetting that half an hour earlier I was screaming blue murder, but sometimes they look grave, nod and say ‘it’s ok mummy’.
I still feel guilty about it, but the guilt is tempered with the knowledge I’ve said sorry and tried to make them understand.
But am I setting them a good example, or a bad one? Does flipping out but saying sorry really make it okay? I worry about this quite a lot.
Then this week this happened: BB came home from school with her end of year report. (That’s right – we’ve survived World Book Day, we’ve survived the school play despite BB being sick on the donkey and we’ve survived sports day for another year). I’ll spare you the ins and outs but this bit stood out:
“BB is a sensitive child with a lovely nature and cares deeply that her friends are happy and not alone. She often approaches children who have been left out in the playground to invite them to play. She is a popular choice for her peers because of her kind nature.”
I was so proud. I have no idea if my showing contrition has helped develop her understanding of others, but I like to think it has. It looks like we’re doing okay even if I do lose my sh*t from time to time.
Do you flip out every now and again? What happens and how do you try and make things better? I’d love to hear your experience!