Have you heard about Victoria Beckham trademarking her daughter’s name?
Apparently she’s registered Harper Beckham, five, for use in branded products including perfume and make-up, as well as use in the entertainment industry.
Of course the red tops have had a field day, criticising Posh for exploiting her kids, and you’ve got to admit trademarking your child’s name does sound pretty ridiculous on the face of it.
But is she really exploiting her kids? Or is she actually being quite shrewd and protecting their future interests?
Either way it got me thinking. As a blogger, am I exploiting my kids? Because when you think about it there’s a fine line between the likes of the Beckhams and a blogger.
Am I exploiting my kids?
The fact is my blog wouldn’t exist without BB, Little B and Littlest B, all of whom feature in pretty much every single blog post I write, week in, week out, year in, year out.
They’re classic blogger’s children -I picture them eating the latest kids’ food, I video them wearing the latest nappies and I encourage them to smile and laugh while they’re doing it.
Am I exploiting my kids?
And then there’s the contracts I sign with baby brands, agreeing to endorse products by picturing my kids using them or support a campaign by filming my children taking part, in return for a fee.
Am I exploiting my kids?
There’s no doubt they enjoy experiences they simply wouldn’t have if I didn’t blog.
We’ve been to Majorca with Mumsnet, we’ve had the best holiday we’ve ever had as a family thanks to Hoburne Holidays, Little B has swum in the world’s first baby spa, BB has been to countless film premieres and Littlest B was quite literally showered with gifts when she was born in February. Some of their best childhood memories will probably be thanks to my blog.
But am I exploiting my kids?
Presumably there will come a time when BB doesn’t want to stand and smile at the camera with a product in her hand and Little B doesn’t want me to film him wearing whatever it is we’ve been sent to test.
What then?
Am I exploiting my kids? Are you a blogger and have you ever wondered whether you’re exploiting your kids? I’d love to know what you think!
Linking up with…
I wonder what my children will make of my post about them whn they are older? Its a fine line. My hubby is supportive but will quite often put me in my place if i am impacting normal life for the sake of my blig which i think has been great fr making mw take a step back and looking at it from an outsiders perspective. Its a tough one. #PoCoLo
I often ask Misery Guts for his point of view, and have toned down many a post based on his advice!!
I completely understand what you mean, I’ve often worried about the same thing with my little one. The same as Pam, I do often think about what my son may think of my blog/posts when he gets older. It may be weird, but I didn’t really consider his thoughts on it when I first started.
I’ve always tried to bear in mind what they’ll think if and when they read my posts when they’re older, and I like to think my blog will be a diary of their childhood. I also like to think of it as ‘our’ blog rather than just mine!
Hiya, I’ve actually put my blog on hiatus for various reasons for the past four months. But one was that as my daughter grows, I have started feeling uncomfortable with documenting her every move, word, etc. She’s three, and yes already is very firm about when I can and cannot take her photo. She seems to know exactly when a photo is for the family or for the moment rather than the blog or social media and in the latter, was increasingly saying, ‘no photos!’ which was awkward if I needed it for a branded post!
I never used my daughter’s name on my blog, and actually never showed her face either, which was a request my partner made when I was pregnant (and already blogging). He wanted to protect her identity and let her choose when she was old enough whether she wanted to be ‘in the public eye’ or not. I’m glad I did that personally, it was the right choice for us. But it also contributed to my feelings of unease over the past six months as if I wasn’t willing to share her face/identity, it did feel like I was using her more somehow rather than less because of the effort I would go to get a photo without her face!
It’s such a fine line as a blogger isn’t it. I wish I could find something to write about that didn’t include her and then I wouldn’t have to worry!
Only you know what’s best for your children and it sounds like you’re following your heart – if you’re not comfortable with it don’t do it. As I said in another comment, a lot of it boils down to common sense…
You are allocating your childrens time, on their behalf, to marketing products for various companies. Only you know how much of their time you trade to these companies in exchange for the various gifts that you recieve and whether this sustained course of action is beneficial to them or not.
That’s a very succinct way of putting it!
It’s recently come to my attention that ichild custody hearings or concerns, one thing social services consider a red flag is if a parent or parents post any ANY photo’s of their kids. One well known mummy blogger nearly lost her kids recently and one of the things threw at her was her blog in which she used pics of her kids playing, using toys etc. The normal stuff we use. The stuff we are all doing. It really shocked me. Now I’m torn about using photos but you can’t really blog without them.
I don’t think I know anyone – blogger or not – who doesn’t post pictures of their kids online in some form or another. I hadn’t heard of this mummy blogger case (I’ve googled it now!) but surely there was more to it than that?
I’ve thought about this. My daughter has her first trip to the ER last week and after she was settled I made sure to get some pics. She also enjoys posing and likes that daddy writes stories about her. I ask the teenager about things I’m not sure she would be comfortable with, and I think she likes the idea of being written about to. I think that once they are old enough to understand consent its important to include them in decisions, but not something I think either of us should be concerned with #pocolo
I remember umming and ahhing about whether to use pictures I’d taken of BB in hospital when she had pneumonia on the blog. In the end I did – her with her thumbs up in bed surrounded by treats, toys and books in a post about how to make a hospital stay fun for kids. It’s a fine line though!
it is a fine line. I have a few pics of her looking really upset and worried that I would never have considered using. Maybe that makes the post less authentic, but I’d rather be labeled fake than have her look at these at some point in the future and not be happy. Back from #bestandworst
Good to think about and everyone will be different. Consent is important and if they show signs that it’s a problem then it’s time to reconsider. My Hubby is also my weathervane for things like this too. Blogging is good for my soul and helps my mental health. #pocolo
Yes I consult Misery Guts on posts I think might be sensitive or contentious in some way (he read this one before I hit publish!) I like the term ‘weathervane’ – that’s a good one!
Yes I worry about this a lot! My blog is totally based around my son. But I try to think about how would feel in the future if he reads the posts or sees his photos. I think not to include anything I think would embarrass him.
I think being mindful is the key to this one, mindfulness and common sense!
This is a really great post. I wonder this quite a bit when I see so many children’s pictures out there on the internet. My children are teens and will not let me post their photo without permission….fair enough. I don’t think you are exploiting your children as they are benefitting from you r blog but it is a fine line isn’t it. Thank you for posting. #pocolo
It’s a very fine line – as long as the children in question are happy and enjoy their participation that’s the main thing…
I blog and have always been very conscious of this. As I result I never use any images of my children and certainly wouldn’t share anything that they would find humiliating or upsetting when they are older. It’s a really difficult one as I love reading personal blogs and seeing images, but our children are not our commodity and they deserve to have their childhood to explore and learn without everyone seeing everything they do. I know it’s very opinionated but the more I think of
it the more I think it is exploitation, and something they will never thank their parents for.
I do use images of my children, but with pseudonyms so none of them have a digital footprint of my creating. I’m always conscious of what they might find embarrassing when they’re older too, so tend to steer clear of the gory details of things like potty training etc. That said, like you I love reading personal blogs, and I like writing them too!
Yes you are exploiting your kids it’s using them to make a living and I’m sorry but no. I have more respect for my children and I certainly didn’t bring them into the world to make a profit from them. Yes u can dress it up to justify…like saying u got a holiday. So what? What is it teaching your children? And then ppl wonder why there is such a rise in teen exploitation. Sure your kids have been conditioned to please adults by posing even if they dont enjoy it.
Get a proper job!!!
If creating a brand, building a platform on which to showcase that brand, attracting a loyal and engaged audience, resulting in household names paying to reach that audience, and running and managing that platform isn’t a ‘proper job’ I’d love to know what is!!
I do blog about my life which includes my kids, but my blog isn’t about my kids, I’m allowed to use photos as long as the pictures don’t cause any embarrassment or could impact on their friendships, work life etc. My kids are all adults now and trust that over the years, I know what I’m doing with social media so just leave me to it now. When I review items I do so for things that will enrich or benefit my life, occasionally the kids get the items after I’ve finished with them. They rather like mum blogging and appearing in the media from time to time and will often share the content on their own SM sites. BTW the kids are now 18, 22, 25, 27, 29 and I’ve been blogging since 2010. #PoCoLo
I think so long as the kids are happy then it’s fine. There’s definitely perks of blogging and if I can get something which will benefit the kids then it’s always a bonus! If it gets to the point when my eldest no longer wants to be included then I’ll respect that. #bestandworst x
I wonder this but I have already decided I will start to involve the eldest a little more as gets older. If she doesn’t want me to write about her or have her picture taken, I will respect her decision. However, like you, we have had some nice experiences so hard to know when to draw that line!! Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x
I don’t post anything about my son on my blog, not his name or photos, however, I do on insta and Facebook. In the back of my mind is a niggle where I wonder if I’m doing the right thing. But show me a parent who doesn’t post photos/updates of their kids on social media – I don’t think I know anyone! A very thought provoking piece #bestandworst
Actually I worry about this quite a lot. I had a strict ‘no photographs of their faces’ rule but I’ve realised it’s quite difficult trying to maintain that! I also use nicknames, and I don’t check in places while I’m there and I don’t disclose where we are if it’s somewhere we visit regularly. Plus, I try not to blog anything that is too personal/might be embarrassing for them when they’re older. At the same time I want to be honest and I love recording memories to look back on when they’re older.
They definitely benefit from my blogging (my daughter in particular has an impressive Usborne books collection thanks to blogging!) … it’s just a hard one to get right. Very thought provoking! Sorry for the long waffle, haha! #ablogginggoodtime
Interesting. I write about my boys too and have wondered this myself. However, for me it’s slightly different as I don’t include their real names or any photos with their faces. I’m protecting them as much as I can. I also talk to them about what I write and as soon as they don’t want me to write about them I’ll stop. A thought provoking question, thanks for linking to #pocolo
I don’t feel as if we are exploiting our children. We have to be grateful that we are offered opportunities to explore a world that may not be possible by any other means. My daughter loves tone photographed, if she didn’t want a photo I would force it. I do mention my daughter’s name on my blog, something I do regret as I would have loved for her to have a bit of privacy. But as I said being a blogger has given us so many opportunities. #kcacols
It is a difficult one. My first son is barely even mentioned on my personal Facebook page because he prefers not to be mentioned. My younger son currently loves to see his photo anywhere and everywhere. My blog is largely related to my campaign for accessible facilities so my younger son plays a big part in it but if he does not want to be featured I would stop including photos of him. #KCACOLS
I didn’t think about it like that but I do now. I constantly wonder of this is the right thing to do or not. I’ve obviously used George’s name but as someone above said I try not to disclose publicly locations we visit whilst we are there, photograph from behind and don’t disclose publicly where we live or regularly visit. I try to make my blog about my thoughts and mindset too rather than a running commentary of George’s life and achievements. I started off as a mummy blogger but quickly changed to lifestyle and parenting after my conscience got the better of me.
Oh no I need the answer, I need you to say no! Haha. Yes maybe we are I cannot decide. It sounds so crude written like that though. Perhaps I would post these things of them anyway just I wouldn’t be getting paid for it! Oh dear I’m not coming here again. #KCACOLS
It’s a tricky one isn’t it? I write quite personal things about my children and my feelings towards them. Someone asked me if they will be allowed to read it all when they are older. I answered yes, of course. I hope they will understand. And if they don’t, well, we’ll just cross that road when we come to it!
I hadn’t heard this story about the Beckhams but I actually think she’s been pretty clever. I think Harper, purely because of the family she has been born into, will be able to work with brands when she gets older, and this move protects her from being used to endorse a product that she didn’t agree to.
As far as blogging is concerned, I think it’s a tricky one. I don’t put my kids’ faces on my blog, and one of the reasons for that is because they’re not old enough to decide yet whether they want to be included or not. As you say, they get lots of perks from being a bloggers’ kid. But in many respects, they aren’t given a choice about taking part or promoting products.
I don’t think I can shed any more light on it other than to say it’s something that we should be aware of and to try and find a balance #ablogginggoodtime
This is a great thought provoking post. I’m sure we each have our individual thoughts on this.#KCACOLS
Agree it’s a fine line and that line differs for each family – I don’t think there’s a definitive answer either. It’s about opportunities, enjoyment and willing participation if you ask me. Thanks for sharing with #PoCoLo
I don’t think of it as exploitation as such, but I do often worry about an invasion of privacy. I suppose it’s all down to them and how they grow up. I personally would have loved to have something like this to look back on now #KCACOLS
I think it’s fine as long as they are enjoying it. At the end of the day you are taking pictures of them using things a lot of kids their age use, so what’s the problem with that. My daughter is 11 and she loves being in my blogs and vlogs, if she had her way she would take over them. She appreciates all that we do and wants to be part of it. If didn’t want to I wouldn’t make her.
#KCACOLS
I don’t post photos of their faces but I don’t think that’s the issue here – like you say, it’s the matter of the blog not existing if it wasn’t without them. Me not being able to say that things I say, without them. Talk about the experiences I talk about, without them. So effectively the fact I don’t post photos of their faces doesn’t make any difference. I’m in the same boat as you. A lot of bloggers with older children do talk about asking permission – when your child is old enough to say I don’t want to do this, they have to be respected, right? As for ‘exploiting’ them when they’re young and can’t say no, as long as we don’t put them through any harm or put them in compromising situations that are going to cause them any sort of embarrassment etc. I don’t see a problem with this? But hey, it’s a blurred line – interesting question and post! #KCACOLS
This couldn’t have come at a better time for me as my newish blog seems to be veering in the direction of my teenage son and daughter. My friends find it hard to believe that I write so openly about them but Everything I write I show to them first to ok. I now would like to take a slightly different route and blog about my various (and regular) worries that I have as a mother to them, and record their honest opinions and takes on what I’m worrying about. I think it’d be fascinating. They’ve both agreed to it. You’re providing great posts to us readers, you’re not exploiting your children, you’re proud of them, they are part of who you are. If they get to an age where they don’t want you to write about them anymore than fine but until then, I’d rather see pictures of your kids at a theme park than a load of boring old photos of flowers and what people are having for their tea that night. As to Ann on the 27th April… get a bloody life girl and stop letting the side down.
I often wonder too… I don’t do sponsored content, product placements, etc. Not yet anyway. But I do take a lot of photos, and I often wonder whether it is ok to use my kids as models so much. I steer well away of embarrassing pictures, and try to protect their privacy as much as possible, but still, I wonder… In a few years time, what will they make of it?
#ablogginggoodtime
I worry about the same thing all the time! I’m afraid I don’t have a good answer, but I do try to not think about it too much. They will have their pictures and names on the internet a million times before they die. Every kid from their generation will. #ablogginggoodtime