Ooo new shoesIf my plastic glasses were the thin end of the wedge, then the wedge has just got thicker. Decidedly thicker. Check out my latest shoe acquisition. Designer? No. Gorgeous? Sadly not. High heeled? Don’t be silly.

It is with the greatest regret I must admit, for the first time ever with the exception of trainers, I have bought a pair of shoes based on their comfort, durability and affordability. From Clarks.

They look like the sort of thing my 87-year-old Granny would wear. Worse, they are the sort of thing my 87-year-old Granny does wear. Even my 91-year-old Granny, who owns a pair of Ugg boots, is more on trend than I am. Worse still, my new pair of shoes boast WaveWalk technology. Attractive.

I was lured into the shop by a pair of hot pink pumps in the window. They were svelte, shiny and lovely, but simply weren’t going to cut the mustard now that we live in a city and BB and I go everywhere à pied.

So when I spotted the WaveWalkers, with a curve and pivot point on the sole encouraging the foot to roll and promising to allow one to ‘walk for longer with less effort’ I had to have a go. How can I convey the comfort? I had died and gone to heaven! I didn’t even care they were mushroom coloured and had a sole as thick as a pair of clogs – they were just the job.

So here I am, aged 32 with plastic framed glasses and sensible Clarks shoes. Called WaveWalkers. And I don’t even care.

I shudder to think what comfort and practicality will seduce me into buying next. A cagoule? A stick with clippers on the end so I can pick things up without bending down? An armchair with an electric lift mode?