I’m pregnant!

We've been harbouring a little secret in our house: I'm pregnant and baby number three is on the way! It's [...]

By |August 5th, 2016|Family life, Miscarriage, Parenting, Pregnancy|128 Comments

Watching Stephen Mangan give birth actually seemed quite normal

Last week I had one of the most bizarre evenings I think I’ve ever had: I watched the actor Stephen [...]

I’m loving NOT being pregnant

Isn’t the human body amazing? It takes 40 weeks to grow a baby but just a matter of days for it to look like there was never anything there at all. This is how mine has changed in the 10 days since Little B was born, although suggesting it looks like there was never anything there at all is stretching it a bit. There’s no doubt I’m a mother: the tell-tale linea nigra across my stomach, the midwife’s needlework skills and the fact I’m in dire need of some serious heavy duty eye cream are all dead giveaways, but all things considered, when fully clothed, I reckon I’ve escaped relatively unscathed. […]

Pregnancy after multiple miscarriage: we did it!

I fully expected to be penning a week 41 post today: instead I am writing this with our four day old son sleeping peacefully on Misery Guts’ chest. That’s right: BB is officially a big sister after Little B graced us with his presence in the early hours of Thursday morning. Just three days overdue compared to BB’s 14, his delivery couldn’t have been more different – or quick. Instead of being anchored to a hospital bed on my back by an epidural, heart monitors, various drips and a catheter I delivered Little B on all fours in the tranquillity of a birthing pool on the 13th floor of the Royal Sussex Hospital with the bright lights of Brighton twinkling outside. The midwife passed him to me under the water and he emerged calmly blinking up at me, less than two and a half hours after arriving at hospital apparently only 2cms dilated, and then we climbed out of the pool and snuggled down on bean bags on the floor. […]

Robbie’s welcome to sing & gyrate in my delivery room any day

So there’s been a great hoo-hah about Robbie Williams ‘live’ blogging and tweeting updates during his wife Ayda’s labour this week. I have to say if Robbie fancies coming to my delivery room and gyrating around the bed while singing Candy he’s most welcome – what better diversion? – but if Misery Guts tries it he’s likely to get a punch in the face. In case you’ve been on another planet for the last few days, you can watch one of Williams’ offerings here. You’ve got to hand it to Mrs Williams, who appears resigned to her husband’s behaviour throughout. She’s probably used to it. But what fascinates me is who is it behind the camera? Robbie hasn’t balanced the thing on top of a ventilator: there’s clearly someone filming proceedings. […]

Pregnancy after multiple miscarriage: D-Day has arrived

Week: 40 Waist: 40 inches (no change) Feeling: Ready and waiting What can I say? Today is D-day and the Big Wait has begun. What a 40 weeks it’s been: I’ve put on 10 kilos – that’s one and a half stone in old money – my waist has expanded a whopping 13 inches and my chest has grown from a B to a D cup. I’ve felt enormous for pretty much the entire pregnancy, but looking back at the weekly pictures I started taking at 20 weeks it seems to me that back then I barely even looked pregnant. […]

Pregnancy after multiple miscarriage: spoiling the sibling

Week: 39 Waist: 40 inches (no change) Feeling: In the mood to spoil I’ve spent my first week of maternity leave thoroughly spoiling BB, knowing it could be the last week it’s just the two of us at home. I’m probably setting us up for problems with the level of spoiling that’s gone on, and as predicted, it’s been a fairly busy week. We’ve been to the park, the library, baked, eaten the products of our baking and this afternoon we’ve got a hotly anticipated trip to the cinema. This morning, with BB safely stowed at pre-school, I also had a pre-labour pedicure so my feet are now officially ready for the delivery suite (when I had BB I had one foot firmly wedged on the midwife’s shoulder, so thought it best to safe than sorry). […]

Pregnancy after multiple miscarriage: maternity leave starts here

Week: 38 Waist: 40 inches (-1.5 inches, possibly owing to bump dropping further down) Feeling: Relieved At close of play today, I’m officially on maternity leave. As a freelance journalist I knew I couldn’t leave it too late to accept my last commission in case I couldn’t meet the deadline, but, at the end of a stressful few weeks and with less than half a day to go it looks like I’ve made it. It’s such a relief. Even so, I’m fried: I will have filed 7,250 words this week alone. With a bit of luck I’ll still have next week before anything happens – the plan is to recharge my batteries as much as possible, and spend time with BB doing mummy and daughter things as it’s the last time it will be just the two of us at home. The thing is, the list of activities she’d like to do is getting increasingly lengthy. Making Halloween cupcakes, going swimming, a trip to the cinema and a visit to the library are already on the agenda. I suggested it might be nice to rest on the sofa together but this was met with a definite no. […]

Running in pregnancy: I made it to 36 weeks

It is with the greatest regret that I have finally admitted defeat and hung up my running trainers. I made [...]

Pregnancy after multiple miscarriage: we’re technically full term

Week: 37 Waist: 41.5 inches (+ 1 inch) Feeling: Grumpy At 37 weeks – that’s technically full term – the trials and tribulations of pregnancy are catching up with me. It’s been another hormonal week thanks to Braxton Hicks making my evenings uncomfortable, hot flushes playing havoc with my sleep and the discovery of a lump on one of my boobs. I went to the doctor who found not one but three lumps, but because they are all roughly the same size and shape he’s ‘confident’ they’re enlarged milk glands and told me to keep an eye on them and come back if they get bigger, change shape or don’t disappear after breast feeding. I reported this information to my midwife, who helpfully told me she has a friend who found similar lumps while pregnant which turned out not to be enlarged milk ducts, and she had to have them removed. Why did she tell me this? Why why why? […]

Pregnancy after multiple miscarriage: it’s been a BAD WEEK

Week: 35 Waist: 40.5 (+0.5 inches) Feeling: Hormonal Highs are always followed by lows. This time last week I was feeling rather smug after the baby’s head engaged and instead of feeling even more uncomfortable and full of pressure I felt liberated because I could breathe freely and my heartburn subsided. I did a five mile run in which I felt like I was skipping and marvelled at how well I felt. Not anymore. This is probably the result of it having been a trying couple of weeks owing to Misery Guts spending two days in hospital with a severe migraine (again) and almost two weeks recovering at home (it’s a long story) and my tiredness from the whole ordeal finally catching up with me. It all started when we went to Ikea to collect a chest of drawers big enough to take BB’s and the new baby’s clothes. I’d never been to an Ikea before, and I never want to again. It brought out the worst in me, and next time I’ll happily pay the £39 charge to have an item delivered to my door. In fact I would pay more than that if it meant not having to drive for two hours, queue to get into the car park, battle my way through people wandering about in no particular direction in a windowless vacuum with lights that are too bright only to queue to collect the damned thing and then again to pay. […]

Pregnancy after multiple miscarriage: we’re engaged!

Week: 34 Waist: 40 inches (+ 1.5 inches, possibly owing to engagement) Feeling: Nice and comfy It’s official: the baby’s head is engaged. The midwife confirmed the momentous milestone on Tuesday morning, but I already knew because I felt it happen last Friday. I cannot describe the relief – my whole bump has dropped a good inch or so, meaning I can breathe again, eat a whole meal again, I no longer have heartburn and my whole upper body feels free. I’m so much more comfortable – for now. The realisation this had happened sent me running to Boots for all the necessary for my hospital bag, which I’ve now started packing. It also reminded me how unglamorous the immediate aftermath of child birth is. Big pants, breast pads and super strong night-time pads (or ‘wadding for every orifice’ as Misery Guts helpfully called them) are now in a bag by the bedroom door, as are new born nappies and enough pound coins to feed the hospital car park for a day or so. […]

Pregnancy after multiple miscarriage: it’s no surprise my waist has expanded this week

Week: 32 Waist: 38.5 inches (+0.5 inches) Feeling: Crampy legged I’m pleased to be able to report my craving for chicken soup now appears to have passed. In fact I don’t think I’ll be eating any for a very long time. Instead I’m eating and drinking other things it would never occur to me to consume normally, like squash (the liquid kind). I’ve been ridiculously thirsty throughout the entire pregnancy, and lately I’ve really been fancying squash, which I haven’t drunk for years. So when the nice people at Vimto kindly sent me some samples of their new no added sugar Squeezy water enhancer they came at the perfect time. […]

Pregnancy after multiple miscarriage: procrastination, procrastination, procrastination

Week: 31 Waist: 38 inches (+ 1 inch) Feeling: Sore armed thanks to whooping cough vaccination (for baby, not me) It might be September next week, but I’m still too scared to actually do anything to prepare for the baby’s arrival in case something goes wrong. I told myself I’d start a ‘to do’ list after we got back from holiday, but now that time has come I’m procrastinating. It’s not even a lengthy list, but includes things that mean it could Really Be Happening like unpacking BB’s new born clothes, buying tiny nappies and packing a hospital bag. Things that really do need to get done, preferably before going into labour. […]

Pregnancy after multiple miscarriage: hello third trimester

Week: 28 Waist: 37 inches (-0.5 inches…again!) Feeling: Coming down with a cold, worst luck The quest for decent maternity clothes continues. When I was expecting BB in 2011 there was a plethora of inspiring ranges to choose from, and I remember having to rein myself in to curb the spending. What’s changed? Last month I ordered four tops from H&M – nothing fancy, several vests and a ‘smart’ top – but the fabric was so thin it was virtually transparent so I sent them straight back again. Instead I’ve spent the last few weeks in a (non-maternity) maxi dress from Peacocks, which is just the ticket in this hot weather. Sadly this isn’t going to see me into autumn though, and it was while pondering this that I stumbled upon what actually appears to be a nice selection of affordable outfits to house my growing bump. And you’ll never guess where from: Asda. That’s right, you did read correctly. […]