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I’ve got the whole world in my hands

So you may (or may not) be surprised to hear we made it back from Scotland unscathed. I say unscathed – we were both nursing the kind of hangovers we haven’t had since BBB (before BB) – but apart from that we managed to make it home in one piece. And you may (or may not) be surprised to hear that two whole days and nights away from BB weren’t that bad after all. Walks one would never entertain with a pushchair, tops one would never wear while breast feeding, afternoon naps, leisurely baths before going out to dinner, sipping numerous wines and spirits into the wee hours without being under the glare of the baby monitor: I could get quite used to it. […]

By |May 6th, 2013|Breast feeding, Family life, Travel|0 Comments

My baby now comes complete with an instruction manual

Who said kids don’t come with an instruction manual? Mine does. I’ve just written it. It’s called ‘Things you always wanted to know about BB but were afraid to ask’. The need for such a manual comes ahead of our first weekend away sans BB: two whole nights in Inverness, Scotland. I realise this doesn’t sound like the ideal location for a weekend getaway à deux, but the trip happens to coincide with Speyside Whisky Festival. And Misery Guts loves whisky. Need I say more? So we are leaving BB in the capable hands of Granny and Grandpa, backed up by said instruction manual, just in case. Advice includes ‘cleaning her teeth can be a challenge – it might be a case of pinning her down to get to the back’ and ‘it can take her a good 30 minutes to come round after her afternoon nap, when she can sometimes be a real grump’. Helpful? Probably not. Does putting them down on paper make me feel better? Yes. […]

By |May 1st, 2013|Breast feeding, Family life|2 Comments

Please vote for us!

I am taking the plunge. Three months after joining the growing ranks of mummy bloggers, it’s time to up the ante and try to put Confessions of a Crummy Mummy on the cyberspace map. How? By entering my first parent blogger awards – Brit Mums Brilliance in Blogging Awards 2013. This is a daunting prospect – there are so many brilliant, well established mummy and daddy bloggers out there with so many accreditations, awards and followers under their belts it’s eye watering. But I know I can achieve that too, so I’m putting Confessions of a Crummy Mummy forward for three categories: best fresh voice; recognising new bloggers, best writer; recognising great content, and best lifestyle blog; for bloggers who share the ins and outs of family life in a witty and entertaining way. The thing is, I need your help. If you liked reading about why my child is one of the fussiest eaters in Europe, why I’m worried giving up breast feeding will psychologically damage one of our cats and the latest antics of Misery Guts, or generally like following the latest goings on in the lives of BB and I, please vote for us. It’s really easy – just click on one or (preferably) all of the badges on the right hand side of this post. […]

By |March 18th, 2013|Breast feeding, Cats, Family life, News|0 Comments

Saying no is harder than I thought

Given that BB is 19 months old today, I thought I’d update you on how weaning her off the boob is going. The short answer is: it’s not. I’ve given up giving up breast feeding. It was going fairly well when I last reported back, fairly well ish anyway, in that I was making a concerted effort to stop, but it’s the effort part that’s the problem. I haven’t got the energy to make the effort – there’s too much else going on and it’s simply too easy to feed her. And I get to have a sit down. […]

By |March 15th, 2013|Breast feeding, Family life|2 Comments

My baby’s no longer a baby because…

She’s just gone to bed in her first pair of pyjamas (left). Pyjamas! It’s a milestone up there with buying her first toothbrush and taking her for her first proper haircut. There’s no getting away from it now: all traces of babyness are disappearing. Fast. Of course I brought the pyjama landmark on myself, seduced by the cutest pair in Mothercare this afternoon. So cute I just had to buy them. Now she is in them and sleeping soundly, I’m feeling slightly weepy and nostalgic for the days when nothing but a sleep suit with feet would do, all cosy inside her grow bag as I nursed her. […]

By |March 4th, 2013|Breast feeding, Family life, Fashion|0 Comments

Mummy it’s not fair!

Here I am (left), feeling suitably sorry for myself after 24 hours in bed with a stomach bug. This is the first time a lurgy has rendered me bedbound since BB was born in August 2011, and there are two things I have learnt: 1) Mummies aren’t allowed to be ill. 2) Number 1 isn’t fair. […]

By |February 27th, 2013|Breast feeding, Family life|8 Comments

Will giving up breast feeding psychologically damage my kitten?

You might not think cats, American country singer Kinky Friedman and breast feeding have much in common, but you’d be surprised. Kinky once said: “Cats are lovers of the status quo. They don’t like anything that might represent change. They hate marriages, divorces, moving days, painters, plumbers, TV repairmen and just about everything else.” And giving up breast feeding. We have two cats. Eddie, three, who spends most of BB’s waking hours out of sight, stealing out from his hiding place when she is napping and after she’s gone to bed to assert his presence, and Daisy Doo, 18 months. Poor little Daisy Doo. […]

By |February 18th, 2013|Breast feeding, Cats, Family life|5 Comments

Eye infection? Try breast milk eye drops

Forget Crummy Mummy. I think I might reinvent myself as Dr Mummy: Medicine Woman. I am feeling mightily pleased with myself following my first foray into self-doctoring. It all started on Thursday when I woke up with an itchy eye. By mid-afternoon it was gummy and weeping, and everything had taken on a decidedly cloudy haze. There was no ignoring it and I realised I’d have to face the infuriating ritual of making an ‘emergency’ doctor’s appointment: phoning the surgery on the dot of 8.30am, pressing ring back, waiting while the phone endlessly rings at the other end only to be answered by the ‘health centre manager’ who then puts me through to reception, only to be asked to hold, etc, etc. After all, I could be blind if I waited until the next available slot in 10 days’ time. […]

By |February 11th, 2013|Breast feeding, Health|5 Comments

Chilli on the nipples? No thanks

My appeal for any suggestions on how to encourage BB to drink more milk from a beaker than she does from the boob prompted some interesting results. Namely putting chilli on my nipples to ward her off. Apparently this is quite common in Melanesian culture, but quite honestly I was horrified. […]

By |February 4th, 2013|Breast feeding|0 Comments

A beaker of milk…aka a poisoned chalice

Week one of starting to wean BB off the boob is drawing to a close, and I’m afraid to say we haven’t got very far. The ‘official’ advice in my books on how to go about it all seems to apply to babies under 12 months, and I’m afraid we’re a bit beyond that (BB is almost 18 months old). So I’ve ditched the so-called professional advice and decided to go about it my own way: starting with dropping day time feeds and offering her a beaker of cow’s milk instead. You’d think I was suggesting she drink from a poisoned chalice. […]

By |February 1st, 2013|Breast feeding|2 Comments

5 reasons to give up breast feeding…or not

Right, here we have it. Five (very good) reasons why it’s time for me to wean BB off the boob and wave goodbye to breast feeding: 1) There’s no question about it: more sleep! No more booby means that Misery Guts can drag himself out of bed, stumble across the hall and help deal with the little monkey when she wakes up at 2am, 3am, 4am, 5am… 2) No more toe stubbing. This has been a surprisingly regular occurrence in the shadowy small hours. Once what I thought was a stub was in fact quite a nasty collision between my little toe and the bed post, resulting in blood all over the sheets which I only discovered several hours later in the cold light of day… […]

By |January 24th, 2013|Breast feeding|0 Comments

It’s time to call time on the milk bar

It is a truth universally acknowledged among breast feeding mums that the time will come to wave goodbye to boob and hello to the rest of your life. The only question is: when? For me, 17 months and 5 days since it all started, the end is nigh. By choice? Yes. How do I feel about it? Not sure. Hence my reason for starting this blog. When BB was born in August 2011 I was determined to breast feed come what may, and luckily for us we both took to it like a duck to water. In fact, it turns out it couldn’t have been easier. Time marched on, as it tends to do, and here we are almost 18 months later, still on up to six feeds a day. […]

By |January 20th, 2013|Breast feeding|1 Comment