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I’m in drastic need of some hair-spiration

There’s something about going on holiday that makes you come back and want to start again, with a new refreshed outlook on life. It’s been more than a week since we returned from Portugal and I’m still doing my best to maintain that post-holiday glow, mainly by slapping on the after sun twice a day. But having actually had time to peruse the fashion mags filled with summer trends while on said holiday, I’ve had my annual ‘it’s high time to change something about my appearance’ attack. The problem is, I might be creative with the written word but I’m pretty useless when it comes to being creative fashion-wise. The whole thing frightens me. Take my hair for example; it’s been the same for years. The only time in the last four years I have deviated from a centre parting and straightened sides was on my wedding day (pictured), when I enlisted the help of someone who actually knew what they were doing, and last summer when my (very creative) friend neatly plaited it for me (also pictured). Even though she painstakingly told and showed me exactly what to do, I still can’t recreate those plaits. And I’ve tried, I really have. […]

By |June 4th, 2014|Beauty, Family life, Fashion, Parenting, Reviews|0 Comments

Why do they always discontinue beauty products I love?

Just when you find a beauty product you really like they go and discontinue it. Why do they do that? Just three months after falling in love with Mama Mio’s Clean Slate cleanser they’ve gone and revamped the whole range, ditching this little gem. They haven’t even reformulated it, it’s just gone. Why can’t these companies give us some notice, so we can go and stock up in advance? Like a Boots 17 nail polish in chateau red which I adored. If they’d said they weren’t going to make it anymore I’d have bought loads. Instead I’ve never been able to find the same colour again. […]

By |February 21st, 2014|Beauty, Fashion, Health, Parenting|0 Comments

I’m afraid I’ve spawned a giant

BB was exactly two and a half on Saturday. Apparently, the height of a child at two and a half is precisely half the height they will be when fully grown, and I’ve had the height chart at the ready for months to see what it will be. BB was just over 3ft 1 (pictured). Which could make her at least 6ft 2. Cripes. After entering this information into my Dairy Diary (this is where all important milestones are recorded, just like my mum whose 1985 edition includes entries such as ‘crummy mummy and her brother played together all weekend.’ I’m not kidding – it really does) I started to think. While such stature could indeed put BB in the running to become a super model, if she inherits Misery Guts’ clumsiness she could well turn out to be more Miranda than Macpherson. […]

By |February 17th, 2014|Beauty, Family life, Fashion, Health, Parenting|1 Comment

‘Mummy and daddy gone onna mini break’

This is what BB has been telling anyone who’ll listen following our night away at Foxhills Hotel & Spa in Surrey at the weekend. ‘Mini break’ sounds so extravagant and self-indulgent, and I suppose it was (pictured). Luxurious rooms with king-size beds, a king-size bath (even Misery Guts, who’s 6ft 4, could lie down in it) and a health spa complete with a 20m pool with vaulted ceilings and ‘mood lighting’ all promised and delivered a restorative 24 hours away from being mummy and daddy. And all despite my reservations that the trip was going to go pear shaped when Misery Guts demanded 10% off the bill before we’d even left the house because the hotel’s restaurant was closed (a fact they failed to tell us when making the booking) even though we had never planned to eat there in the first place. […]

By |February 12th, 2014|Beauty, Exercise, Family life, Health, Parenting, Reviews, Travel|2 Comments

How to be a mum with a clean slate

I’ve got a new secret weapon in my make-up bag: Clean Slate cleanser by Mama Mio. I haven’t been asked to review it or sent the product free of charge: I paid £22.50 of my hard earned cash for it, which may sound on the pricey side for a face wash, but Oh. My. Goodness. This stuff is amazing. So I’m writing about it because I thought you might like to know too. I have never, ever, come across a skincare product that has actually delivered visible results instantly, but this one did. Here’s a picture of my clear (un make-upped) blemish free skin, two weeks in, to prove it. I’m not quite sure how they’ve done it: it contains a mix of high protein organic aloe leaf juice with probiotics and essential oils and omegas, and my skin felt more alive after the very first use. Even Misery Guts, who normally wouldn’t notice if I wore a paper bag over my head, commented on how good my skin looked just a day after I first used it. […]

By |November 13th, 2013|Beauty, Reviews|1 Comment

Mums-to-be: a bunch of reckless, risk taking half-wits

It’s official: all mums-to-be should hermetically seal themselves in a sterile bubble for the entire duration of their pregnancy. According to advice from the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists today, pregnant women should avoid eating or drinking anything from cans or plastic containers, minimise their use of cosmetics and moisturiser and not buy any new furniture to avoid exposure to certain chemicals. It’s a wonder the human race has survived at all. The paper stupidly suggests women take a ‘safety first’ approach – implying mums-to-be are all a bunch of reckless, risk taking half-wits. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything so ludicrous. […]

By |June 5th, 2013|Beauty, Family life, Health, News|2 Comments

M&S: Am I alone in thinking…?

So Marks and Spencer is in trouble. Again. The chain has reported a big fall in profits and the blame has been laid squarely at the changing room doors: sales of general merchandise, including clothes, are down 4.1% – that’s hundreds of millions of pounds to you and me. This surprises me. Since becoming a mum I have bought more clothes from M&S than I’ve ever bought in my entire life. Underwear used to be the only St Michael garments you’d find in my drawers – now I own coats, jeans, tops, jumpers, vests, bags, even shoes. I first ‘discovered’ M&S in 2011 while en route to the baby section for newborn essentials and was pleasantly surprised by their offering. Yet an industry ‘expert’ described their SS13 clothing ranges as ‘frumpy and shapeless’ on BBC Breakfast this morning. Oh dear. I fear this reflects worse on me than it does on them. […]

By |May 21st, 2013|Beauty, Family life, Fashion, News|0 Comments

A girl can never have too many…headbands

Now I’m not normally a fan of headbands on babies – I don’t really see the point, especially when they don’t have any hair – but check this out (pictured). This super duper little number from Cute Cute landed on our doormat on Friday and I’m in love. Forget plastic or fabric covered metal, this one is made from the softest lace, boasts a glittery pink rose and is about as Downton Abbey as you can get. Needless to say my little rose adores it, and it’s been round her head ever since. It even fits round my head, and as Misery Guts unhelpfully pointed out, it would also make a great garter (for me, not BB, of course). […]

By |April 22nd, 2013|Beauty, Family life, Fashion, Reviews|0 Comments

Comfy shoes: the thin end of the wedge gets thicker

If my plastic glasses were the thin end of the wedge, then the wedge has just got thicker. Decidedly thicker. Check out my latest shoe acquisition. Designer? No. Gorgeous? Sadly not. High heeled? Don’t be silly. It is with the greatest regret I must admit, for the first time ever with the exception of trainers, I have bought a pair of shoes based on their comfort, durability and affordability. From Clarks. They look like the sort of thing my 87-year-old Granny would wear. Worse, they are the sort of thing my 87-year-old Granny does wear. Even my 91-year-old Granny, who owns a pair of Ugg boots, is more on trend than I am. Worse still, my new pair of shoes boast WaveWalk technology. Attractive. […]

By |April 12th, 2013|Beauty, Family life, Fashion|2 Comments

Passport photo shocker

I’ve done it. I’ve scarred BB for life. Despite best efforts, this is her first passport photo. It’s going to haunt her for the rest of her life. And she’s going to hate me for it. Kissable lips and delightfully chubby cheeks aside, how is it possible that she looks as though she’s been shouldered into the frame with her hands behind her back by a burly police officer having done something she knows she really shouldn’t? And how is it possible that what was a fairly expensive salon bob looks like I’ve put a pudding bowl on her head and cut round it. Badly. […]

By |April 10th, 2013|Beauty, Family life|2 Comments

Bad hair day or the coolest kid in town?

Check this out. This is the sight that greeted me when BB woke up from her afternoon nap (left). I cannot fathom how she managed to whip up such a hairdo in under one hour – my only guess is that she must have been continually grinding her head into the mattress the entire time. It’s hard to describe the amazingness of the creation – there were at least five individual sub-knots interspersed with corkscrews of hair firing out at all angles, all combined into one giant knot. When I’d finally stopped laughing I set about trying to brush it out (we needed to go to Tesco). Which only made it worse. Much worse. Then I did that thing I vowed I’d never do: I licked my fingers and tried to smooth it down. […]

By |March 13th, 2013|Beauty, Family life, Fashion|0 Comments

Pork scratchings: the elixir of eternal youth?

While working on my promised list of 5 reasons to give up breast feeding (still a work in progress, by the way) I’ve been distracted by an email which pinged into my inbox: pork scratchings could be the secret to eternal youth. Quite a claim. And coming from my esteemed friend Rupert Ponsonby, who joined forces with chef Tom Parker Bowles (aka Prince Charles’ step-son) and food writer Matthew Fort to give birth to Mr Trotter’s Pork Crackling, I dismissed it as nothing but a shrewd move to flog more of their posh pub snacks. Or is it? […]

By |January 22nd, 2013|Beauty, Food|1 Comment