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So far crummymummy1 has created 813 blog entries.

Military boot camp. Bring. It. On.

Now that my baby’s no longer a baby, and is starting to sleep through the night (I’m afraid to even write it, let alone say it out loud, for fear of relapse) there’s no longer any excuse to use new motherhood as a reason for not getting fit. Getting fit might be a slight exaggeration – I am already fairly fit, but nothing like I was BBB (before BB). BBB I spent several hours a week in the gym on all manner of fancy equipment, but I haven’t set foot in the place since and as a result am rather soft around the edges. So this week I took the bull by the horns and signed up to a taster session of British Military Fitness, aka boot camp style fitness classes run by former or serving members of the military. It seemed the perfect solution: held on the sea front where I live it offers a chance to make the most of the beach, as I pledged to do when we moved here four months ago, plus intensive training packed into a one hour class before Misery Guts leaves for the office. Just the ticket. Oh. My. Goodness. […]

By |March 6th, 2013|Exercise, Family life, Health|0 Comments

My baby’s no longer a baby because…

She’s just gone to bed in her first pair of pyjamas (left). Pyjamas! It’s a milestone up there with buying her first toothbrush and taking her for her first proper haircut. There’s no getting away from it now: all traces of babyness are disappearing. Fast. Of course I brought the pyjama landmark on myself, seduced by the cutest pair in Mothercare this afternoon. So cute I just had to buy them. Now she is in them and sleeping soundly, I’m feeling slightly weepy and nostalgic for the days when nothing but a sleep suit with feet would do, all cosy inside her grow bag as I nursed her. […]

By |March 4th, 2013|Breast feeding, Family life, Fashion|0 Comments

Conversations I’ve overheard this week (and wish I hadn’t)

Being a freelance journalist means I can often be found hunched in the corner of various high street coffee shops tapping away at my trusty laptop. These are fascinating places, and the things you (over) hear are incredible. It’s not that I’m purposely listening out for other people’s conversations; they are often so loud one cannot help but overhear.This is what I’ve heard this week:1) A woman spent four hours – yes four hours – on the phone to a travel agency working out how she could get from Kuala Lumpa to Kolkata in the fastest possible time. If I hear the word Kuala Lumpa again this week I will scream. She must have said it at least 30 times, and in the time it took her to sort out her flights she could have been a third of the way there. […]

By |March 1st, 2013|Family life, Food, Work life|0 Comments

Mummy it’s not fair!

Here I am (left), feeling suitably sorry for myself after 24 hours in bed with a stomach bug. This is the first time a lurgy has rendered me bedbound since BB was born in August 2011, and there are two things I have learnt: 1) Mummies aren’t allowed to be ill. 2) Number 1 isn’t fair. […]

By |February 27th, 2013|Breast feeding, Family life|8 Comments

Forget scrunch or fold: do you bite or lick?

Never mind the scrunch or fold debate. It’s the whether to bite or lick a cream filled biscuit dilemma that interests me. At what point does one become a biter or a licker? And is it nature or nurture that leads to one’s preferred method? Or can one alternate between the two, depending on mood and type of cream filled biscuit in question? […]

By |February 25th, 2013|Family life, Food|0 Comments

Jimmy Choo just saved my life!

We’ve discovered a new game. It’s called These Choos are Made For Walking and from now on it will be exclusively played on deadline days. Like today. Frantically tapping away to meet a deadline for a feature, poor BB, resplendent with a tear-stained face thanks to an angry eye tooth, eventually gave up pulling at my legs and wandered off. Usually when I suddenly realise I don’t know where she is and things have gone very quiet something bad is happening. Very bad. Like the time I found her eating soil peppered with slug pellets, or sucking the nozzle on a bottle of windowlene. […]

By |February 20th, 2013|Family life, Fashion|1 Comment

Will giving up breast feeding psychologically damage my kitten?

You might not think cats, American country singer Kinky Friedman and breast feeding have much in common, but you’d be surprised. Kinky once said: “Cats are lovers of the status quo. They don’t like anything that might represent change. They hate marriages, divorces, moving days, painters, plumbers, TV repairmen and just about everything else.” And giving up breast feeding. We have two cats. Eddie, three, who spends most of BB’s waking hours out of sight, stealing out from his hiding place when she is napping and after she’s gone to bed to assert his presence, and Daisy Doo, 18 months. Poor little Daisy Doo. […]

By |February 18th, 2013|Breast feeding, Cats, Family life|5 Comments

Murder on the putting green

It might sound like the working title for the next Midsomer Murders, but sadly not. That’s exactly what happened just yards from my living room window on Monday night. While watching TV, totally oblivious to what was going on less than 100 metres away, a man was apparently violently attacked and died. It’s the sort of thing you hear about in inner city somewhere, but not on the sea front in Hove. […]

By |February 15th, 2013|News|0 Comments

Is Jane Austen a bad influence on my daughter?

I fear she might be. There has been much hype surrounding the 200th anniversary of the publication of Pride & Prejudice this year, with the media endlessly banging on about how proud we should be of Austen’s most celebrated work of fiction. But I’m not so sure. BB’s granny gave her a Little Miss Austen children’s version of the aforementioned tome for Christmas (pictured), purportedly a counting book from one to ten. But it’s the underlying message that alarms me. […]

By |February 13th, 2013|Books, Family life|2 Comments

Eye infection? Try breast milk eye drops

Forget Crummy Mummy. I think I might reinvent myself as Dr Mummy: Medicine Woman. I am feeling mightily pleased with myself following my first foray into self-doctoring. It all started on Thursday when I woke up with an itchy eye. By mid-afternoon it was gummy and weeping, and everything had taken on a decidedly cloudy haze. There was no ignoring it and I realised I’d have to face the infuriating ritual of making an ‘emergency’ doctor’s appointment: phoning the surgery on the dot of 8.30am, pressing ring back, waiting while the phone endlessly rings at the other end only to be answered by the ‘health centre manager’ who then puts me through to reception, only to be asked to hold, etc, etc. After all, I could be blind if I waited until the next available slot in 10 days’ time. […]

By |February 11th, 2013|Breast feeding, Health|5 Comments

It’s none of their business whether I scrunch or fold

I nearly choked on my sauvignon blanc. ‘Do you scrunch or fold?’ the latest Andrex TV ad asks. They’re referring of course to toilet paper. How revolting. I don’t want to think about whether someone scrunches or folds – it conjures up all sorts of images – and certainly not when I’m trying to wind down at the end of a long day. […]

By |February 6th, 2013|Family life|1 Comment

Chilli on the nipples? No thanks

My appeal for any suggestions on how to encourage BB to drink more milk from a beaker than she does from the boob prompted some interesting results. Namely putting chilli on my nipples to ward her off. Apparently this is quite common in Melanesian culture, but quite honestly I was horrified. […]

By |February 4th, 2013|Breast feeding|0 Comments

A beaker of milk…aka a poisoned chalice

Week one of starting to wean BB off the boob is drawing to a close, and I’m afraid to say we haven’t got very far. The ‘official’ advice in my books on how to go about it all seems to apply to babies under 12 months, and I’m afraid we’re a bit beyond that (BB is almost 18 months old). So I’ve ditched the so-called professional advice and decided to go about it my own way: starting with dropping day time feeds and offering her a beaker of cow’s milk instead. You’d think I was suggesting she drink from a poisoned chalice. […]

By |February 1st, 2013|Breast feeding|2 Comments

Plastic glasses: the thin end of the wedge

New glasses alert (pictured). I’m quite pleased with them, given that I could hardly see when I chose them thanks to the administration of eye drops 20 minutes earlier. BB quite likes them too. And even Misery Guts noticed a difference. But on reflection I’ve realised they’re the thin end of the wedge. This is the first pair of glasses I’ve bought in which practicality came first, style second. The two must-haves were: 1) Arms as thin as possible so I don’t have a blind spot when driving or crossing the road. Why do all the ‘fashionable’ frames have such thick arms? 2) Lenses as big as possible so I can see as much as possible. No more chic oblong frames for me. […]

By |January 31st, 2013|Fashion|0 Comments

I admit it, my child is one of the fussiest eaters in Europe

It’s official: British kids are the fussiest eaters in Europe. So says the first European Toddler Nutrition Index, anyway. Apparently 43% of UK mums give in and let their toddler eat what they want during meal time battles, and 39% are most likely to reward good behaviour or eating well with a sweet treat. I read the article with growing horror: ‘Will you have mash on the walls or peas on the floor?’ The headline in Metro asks. Are they joking? Both, of course. ‘One in seven under-fives in the UK refuses some food at every meal time’, it goes on. I fear this is the correct term for what I call swishing, when BB takes one look at the food on her high chair tray and consigns it to the floor in one fell swoop. […]

By |January 28th, 2013|Food|0 Comments