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So far crummymummy1 has created 553 blog entries.

Jimmy Choo just saved my life!

We’ve discovered a new game. It’s called These Choos are Made For Walking and from now on it will be exclusively played on deadline days. Like today. Frantically tapping away to meet a deadline for a feature, poor BB, resplendent with a tear-stained face thanks to an angry eye tooth, eventually gave up pulling at my legs and wandered off. Usually when I suddenly realise I don’t know where she is and things have gone very quiet something bad is happening. Very bad. Like the time I found her eating soil peppered with slug pellets, or sucking the nozzle on a bottle of windowlene. […]

By |February 20th, 2013|Family life, Fashion|1 Comment

Will giving up breast feeding psychologically damage my kitten?

You might not think cats, American country singer Kinky Friedman and breast feeding have much in common, but you’d be surprised. Kinky once said: “Cats are lovers of the status quo. They don’t like anything that might represent change. They hate marriages, divorces, moving days, painters, plumbers, TV repairmen and just about everything else.” And giving up breast feeding. We have two cats. Eddie, three, who spends most of BB’s waking hours out of sight, stealing out from his hiding place when she is napping and after she’s gone to bed to assert his presence, and Daisy Doo, 18 months. Poor little Daisy Doo. […]

By |February 18th, 2013|Breast feeding, Cats, Family life|5 Comments

Murder on the putting green

It might sound like the working title for the next Midsomer Murders, but sadly not. That’s exactly what happened just yards from my living room window on Monday night. While watching TV, totally oblivious to what was going on less than 100 metres away, a man was apparently violently attacked and died. It’s the sort of thing you hear about in inner city somewhere, but not on the sea front in Hove. […]

By |February 15th, 2013|News|0 Comments

Is Jane Austen a bad influence on my daughter?

I fear she might be. There has been much hype surrounding the 200th anniversary of the publication of Pride & Prejudice this year, with the media endlessly banging on about how proud we should be of Austen’s most celebrated work of fiction. But I’m not so sure. BB’s granny gave her a Little Miss Austen children’s version of the aforementioned tome for Christmas (pictured), purportedly a counting book from one to ten. But it’s the underlying message that alarms me. […]

By |February 13th, 2013|Books, Family life|2 Comments

Eye infection? Try breast milk eye drops

Forget Crummy Mummy. I think I might reinvent myself as Dr Mummy: Medicine Woman. I am feeling mightily pleased with myself following my first foray into self-doctoring. It all started on Thursday when I woke up with an itchy eye. By mid-afternoon it was gummy and weeping, and everything had taken on a decidedly cloudy haze. There was no ignoring it and I realised I’d have to face the infuriating ritual of making an ‘emergency’ doctor’s appointment: phoning the surgery on the dot of 8.30am, pressing ring back, waiting while the phone endlessly rings at the other end only to be answered by the ‘health centre manager’ who then puts me through to reception, only to be asked to hold, etc, etc. After all, I could be blind if I waited until the next available slot in 10 days’ time. […]

By |February 11th, 2013|Breast feeding, Health|5 Comments

It’s none of their business whether I scrunch or fold

I nearly choked on my sauvignon blanc. ‘Do you scrunch or fold?’ the latest Andrex TV ad asks. They’re referring of course to toilet paper. How revolting. I don’t want to think about whether someone scrunches or folds – it conjures up all sorts of images – and certainly not when I’m trying to wind down at the end of a long day. […]

By |February 6th, 2013|Family life|1 Comment

Chilli on the nipples? No thanks

My appeal for any suggestions on how to encourage BB to drink more milk from a beaker than she does from the boob prompted some interesting results. Namely putting chilli on my nipples to ward her off. Apparently this is quite common in Melanesian culture, but quite honestly I was horrified. […]

By |February 4th, 2013|Breast feeding|0 Comments

A beaker of milk…aka a poisoned chalice

Week one of starting to wean BB off the boob is drawing to a close, and I’m afraid to say we haven’t got very far. The ‘official’ advice in my books on how to go about it all seems to apply to babies under 12 months, and I’m afraid we’re a bit beyond that (BB is almost 18 months old). So I’ve ditched the so-called professional advice and decided to go about it my own way: starting with dropping day time feeds and offering her a beaker of cow’s milk instead. You’d think I was suggesting she drink from a poisoned chalice. […]

By |February 1st, 2013|Breast feeding|2 Comments

Plastic glasses: the thin end of the wedge

New glasses alert (pictured). I’m quite pleased with them, given that I could hardly see when I chose them thanks to the administration of eye drops 20 minutes earlier. BB quite likes them too. And even Misery Guts noticed a difference. But on reflection I’ve realised they’re the thin end of the wedge. This is the first pair of glasses I’ve bought in which practicality came first, style second. The two must-haves were: 1) Arms as thin as possible so I don’t have a blind spot when driving or crossing the road. Why do all the ‘fashionable’ frames have such thick arms? 2) Lenses as big as possible so I can see as much as possible. No more chic oblong frames for me. […]

By |January 31st, 2013|Fashion|0 Comments

I admit it, my child is one of the fussiest eaters in Europe

It’s official: British kids are the fussiest eaters in Europe. So says the first European Toddler Nutrition Index, anyway. Apparently 43% of UK mums give in and let their toddler eat what they want during meal time battles, and 39% are most likely to reward good behaviour or eating well with a sweet treat. I read the article with growing horror: ‘Will you have mash on the walls or peas on the floor?’ The headline in Metro asks. Are they joking? Both, of course. ‘One in seven under-fives in the UK refuses some food at every meal time’, it goes on. I fear this is the correct term for what I call swishing, when BB takes one look at the food on her high chair tray and consigns it to the floor in one fell swoop. […]

By |January 28th, 2013|Food|0 Comments

5 reasons to give up breast feeding…or not

Right, here we have it. Five (very good) reasons why it’s time for me to wean BB off the boob and wave goodbye to breast feeding: 1) There’s no question about it: more sleep! No more booby means that Misery Guts can drag himself out of bed, stumble across the hall and help deal with the little monkey when she wakes up at 2am, 3am, 4am, 5am… 2) No more toe stubbing. This has been a surprisingly regular occurrence in the shadowy small hours. Once what I thought was a stub was in fact quite a nasty collision between my little toe and the bed post, resulting in blood all over the sheets which I only discovered several hours later in the cold light of day… […]

By |January 24th, 2013|Breast feeding|0 Comments

Pork scratchings: the elixir of eternal youth?

While working on my promised list of 5 reasons to give up breast feeding (still a work in progress, by the way) I’ve been distracted by an email which pinged into my inbox: pork scratchings could be the secret to eternal youth. Quite a claim. And coming from my esteemed friend Rupert Ponsonby, who joined forces with chef Tom Parker Bowles (aka Prince Charles’ step-son) and food writer Matthew Fort to give birth to Mr Trotter’s Pork Crackling, I dismissed it as nothing but a shrewd move to flog more of their posh pub snacks. Or is it? […]

By |January 22nd, 2013|Beauty, Food|1 Comment

It’s time to call time on the milk bar

It is a truth universally acknowledged among breast feeding mums that the time will come to wave goodbye to boob and hello to the rest of your life. The only question is: when? For me, 17 months and 5 days since it all started, the end is nigh. By choice? Yes. How do I feel about it? Not sure. Hence my reason for starting this blog. When BB was born in August 2011 I was determined to breast feed come what may, and luckily for us we both took to it like a duck to water. In fact, it turns out it couldn’t have been easier. Time marched on, as it tends to do, and here we are almost 18 months later, still on up to six feeds a day. […]

By |January 20th, 2013|Breast feeding|1 Comment